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On April 27, 2011, just days after learning of their pregnancy, B. J. Hollars, his wife, and their future son endured the onslaught of an EF-4 tornado. There, while huddled in a bathtub in their Alabama home, mortality flashed before their eyes. With the last of his computer battery, Hollars began recounting the experience, and would continue to do so in the following years, writing his way out of one disaster only to find himself caught up in another. Tornadoes, drownings, and nuclear catastrophes force him to acknowledge the inexplicable, while he attempts to overcome his greatest fear—the impossibility of protecting his newborn son from the world’s cruelties. Hollars creates a constellation of grief, tapping into the rarely acknowledged intersection between fatherhood and fear, sacrifice and safety, and the humbling effect of losing control of our lives.

Table of Contents

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  1. Cover
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  1. Blurbs, Title Page, Copyright, Dedication, Epigraph
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  1. Contents
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  1. Acknowledgments
  2. pp. xiii-2
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  1. I. Dizzied
  1. Goodbye, Tuscaloosa
  2. pp. 5-9
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  1. A Test of the Emergency Alert System
  2. pp. 10-16
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  1. Epistle to an Embryo
  2. pp. 17-21
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  1. To the Good People of Joplin
  2. pp. 22-24
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  1. Fifty Ways of Looking at Tornadoes
  2. pp. 25-35
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  1. The Longest Wait
  2. pp. 36-42
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  1. II. Drowned
  1. The Girl in the Surf
  2. pp. 45-51
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  1. Dispatches from the Drownings
  2. pp. 52-62
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  1. Buckethead
  2. pp. 63-72
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  1. The Changing
  2. pp. 73-79
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  1. Death by Refrigerator
  2. pp. 80-90
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  1. III. Dropped
  1. Fabricating Fear
  2. pp. 93-98
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  1. Fort Wayne Is Still Seventh on Hitler’s List
  2. pp. 99-111
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  1. The Year of the Great Forgetting
  2. pp. 112-123
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  1. Hirofukushima
  2. pp. 124-140
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  1. Punch Line
  2. pp. 141-143
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  1. Bedtime Story
  2. pp. 144-152
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  1. Works Consulted
  2. pp. 153-158
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  1. Credits
  2. pp. 159-160
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  1. Book Club Guide
  2. pp. 161-164
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  1. About the Author
  2. p. 165
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