In this Book
- The Widows' Handbook: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Survival
- Book
- 2014
- Published by: The Kent State University Press
The Widows’ Handbook is the first anthology of poems by contemporary widows, many of whom have written their way out of solitude and despair, distilling their strongest feelings into poetry or memoir. This stirring collection celebrates the strategies widows learn and the resources they muster to deal with people, living space, possessions, social life, and especially themselves, once shock has turned to the realization that nothing will ever be the same. As Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg says in her foreword, losing one’s partner is “a loss like no other.”
The Widows’ Handbook is a collection of poetry from 87 American women of all ages, legally married or not, straight and gay, whose partners or spouses have died. Some of the poets are already published widely—including more than a dozen prizewinners, four Pushcart nominees, and two regional poets laureate. Others are not as well known, and some appear in print for the first time here. With courage and wry humor, these women encounter insidious depression, poignant memories, bureaucratic nonsense, unfamiliar hardware, well-intentioned but thoughtless remarks, demanding work, spiritual revelation, and unexpected lust, navigating new relationships in the uncertain legacy of sexual liberation. They write frankly about being paralyzed and about going forward. Their poems are honest, beautiful, and accessible.
Only poetry can speak such difficult truths and incite such intense empathy. While both men and women understand the bewilderment, solitude, and change of status thrust upon the widowed, women suffer a particular social demotion and isolation. Anyone who has lost a loved one or is involved in helping the bereaved will be able to relate to the experiences conveyed in The Widows’ Handbook.
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- pp. xix-xx
- I. Bereft, Mourning
- Ironing at Dawn
- pp. 13-14
- Widow Mother
- p. 15
- I Love the Vet
- p. 16
- Cemetery Haiku
- p. 17
- Is He Saved?
- p. 18
- The Idea of Skin
- p. 21
- Almost a Full Moon
- p. 26
- March Ninth
- p. 28
- Natural Disaster
- p. 29
- What Happened After
- pp. 30-31
- Widow’s Litany
- p. 32
- Widow Laments at the Ice Gate
- pp. 33-34
- Too Much Life
- p. 35
- In the Rain
- p. 36
- Valentine’s Day
- pp. 37-38
- My Husband’s Bones
- p. 39
- Thirty Years
- pp. 48-49
- Some Kind of Widow
- pp. 51-52
- Refractory
- p. 59
- Counterpoise
- p. 60
- the sun holds no sway
- pp. 62-63
- How Could I
- p. 64
- Wonderland
- p. 65
- Do You See What I See?
- pp. 66-67
- When one door closes
- p. 68
- Shoes brought me to this place
- pp. 69-70
- Grief Becomes Me
- p. 72
- Secret Society
- pp. 74-76
- A Widow Learns
- pp. 77-78
- II. Memories, Ghosts, Dreams
- Memorial Day
- pp. 81-82
- Memory Foam
- p. 87
- I Want to Ask You
- p. 93
- Pillow Talk
- p. 94
- Come Saturday Morning
- pp. 95-96
- Phantom Limb
- p. 97
- January 2007
- p. 101
- Old Woman Dreams
- p. 102
- Who Will Not Be Home
- p. 103
- Ghost Dream
- pp. 104-105
- Waking the Dead
- p. 106
- Left Behind
- p. 107
- Shaky All Day
- p. 108
- Circumflex
- pp. 109-110
- Receipt: 11/07/09
- pp. 113-114
- Ghost of Prescott Park
- pp. 115-116
- Post-Mortem
- p. 118
- The Acropolis Diner
- pp. 119-120
- Memorial Candle
- pp. 121-122
- Those Days
- p. 123
- East Avenue Gulf
- p. 124
- The Weight
- p. 126
- Maybe You Are Here
- p. 127
- Why Can’t I Dream About Him?
- pp. 130-131
- Crazy Menu
- pp. 132-133
- Dream Doughnuts
- pp. 138-139
- The Wild Things
- pp. 141-142
- October 26, 1991: Outside Saratoga Springs
- pp. 144-145
- As the Crow Flies
- pp. 153-154
- Ghosts I Have Met
- pp. 155-156
- Honey Bees
- pp. 157-158
- Light bulbs
- pp. 159-160
- None, I think
- p. 161
- Loving with Sinatra
- p. 163
- I am prostrate, listening
- pp. 164-166
- III. Coping (more or less)
- My universe has changed
- p. 169
- No One Knows
- p. 170
- How are you?
- pp. 171-174
- Widow, Falling
- p. 175
- The Machines
- pp. 176-177
- In Quintana Roo
- pp. 181-182
- Farewell to Sorrow
- p. 185
- Widow’s Lament
- pp. 186-188
- Prayer Shawl
- p. 189
- How I Carry You
- pp. 190-191
- No Answer, No Message
- p. 192
- Double Sinks
- pp. 193-194
- Eleven Months
- p. 195
- In the Woods
- p. 196
- Widow’s Daughter
- p. 199
- Widowed, Turning Sixty
- pp. 200-201
- A Christmas Trilogy
- pp. 202-203
- How to Get Around It
- p. 205
- The Sisterhood
- pp. 206-207
- Poem in Praise of My Husband (Portsmouth)
- pp. 208-209
- Acceptance
- p. 210
- Surviving with Gratitude
- pp. 212-213
- Second Anniversary
- p. 216
- The Widow Makes Pancakes
- p. 217
- Improbable Grace
- pp. 219-220
- Still Life
- p. 221
- Resurrection
- p. 222
- Irradiation
- p. 223
- What Yields to Winter
- p. 224
- Widow’s Weeds
- p. 225
- Message to Satan
- p. 228
- Unpalatable
- p. 232
- To a husband, saved by death at 48
- pp. 233-234
- Fresco alfresco
- pp. 237-238
- She Considers Widowhood
- pp. 239-240
- Persevere and Endure
- pp. 241-242
- Something Someone Said
- p. 243
- Exterminator
- p. 245
- Camp Numbers
- p. 246
- If I Write Enough
- p. 247
- What will there be
- pp. 248-249
- widow, anew
- pp. 250-251
- Why I Paint
- p. 252
- After Her Death
- p. 254
- What the Widow Learns, 2
- p. 255
- 323 West 22nd Street
- pp. 256-257
- Death of a friend
- p. 260
- Do It Yourself
- pp. 261-262
- Erv’s Gift
- pp. 265-266
- IV. A Different Life
- The Walk Through
- p. 273
- Not Enough
- p. 274
- Black Lace
- p. 275
- Sixteenth Anniversary
- pp. 276-279
- Is It Time to Cast Your Line?
- pp. 280-281
- Lunch Dates
- p. 282
- The Young Widow Revives
- p. 284
- Widow’s Lament
- pp. 285-286
- My Hierarchy of Needs
- p. 287
- Where Is Walter?
- p. 288
- Pretty Soon, It Was
- pp. 291-292
- Widow’s Car
- p. 296
- They Tell Me
- p. 297
- who would ask for this
- pp. 299-300
- Last night his late wife
- p. 301
- A Hundred Forevers
- p. 302
- Troubled in the Bedroom
- pp. 303-304
- Beginning Again
- pp. 305-307
- This Morning
- p. 308
- Epilogue
- Widow and Dog
- pp. 317-318
- Contributors
- pp. 319-331
- Permissions and Acknowledgments
- pp. 332-334
- Back Cover
- p. 335