"You're Not Who You Thought You Were": Narratives of LGBQ+ College Students' Ambiguous Loss During Sexual Identity Development

Ambiguous loss experiences may be common among sexual minority (LGBQ+) populations who sometimes have fewer supports and increased feelings of vulnerability due to the marginalization they encounter. Consequently, it is increasingly necessary to understand how LGBQ+ individuals encounter loss during formative parts of their development and how these loss experiences are connected to larger systems of power and oppression. For those in college during late adolescence, higher education environments represent a place where LGBQ+ students explore sexual identity. This narrative inquiry study, rooted in a constructivist-critical epistemology, explored LGBQ+ college students' ambiguous loss experiences as they formed their sexual identities. In particular, this project centered the stories of 15 LGBQ+ students gathered through two semi-structured interviews. Three major themes exemplified participants' narratives: Navigating Internal and External Expectations, Experiencing External and Ambiguous Loss, and Expressing Grief and Hope. Implications for helping professionals and student affairs are offered.