Which Greek God Are You?

    after a clickbait quiz

When there’s a party on Olympus, do you attend, or do you prefer stayingin your shrine?

When you visited your sister in West Virginia last weekend, did you have anyreservations about stealing that bottle of amphetamines from the medicinecabinet?

How would you describe yourself to mortals and to other gods?

Did you convince yourself that it was OK to steal the pills, since according tothe label they expired more than two years ago?

At festivals held in your honor, what should your followers drink?

Did it concern you that the amphetamines were originally prescribed foryour sixteen-year-old nephew, who’s struggled with severe ADHD sincechildhood?

Someone wants to compose a song in your honor. What sort of music shouldthey write?

Yes, it’s true he stopped taking amphetamines a couple of years ago, but whatif your sister is holding on to them for a reason? What if your nephew needsthem during the first few days of school, which starts in three weeks?

What sort of people make up your mortal following?

Weren’t you troubled by fears about what will happen if your sister noticesthe drugs are missing?

What’s your favorite sort of reading from the temple library?

She’ll ask your nephew if he knows what happened to them. After he saysno, won’t she be forced to ask her other sons, aged eighteen and twenty-one,and her fourteen-year-old daughter?

Do you think you’d be good at raising half-divine offspring?

Did you think about the pain your sister will suffer from interrogating herchildren, or how this could damage her relationships with them?

A sculptor wants to immortalize you in marble. How would you describeyourself?

Have you figured out what to say if your sister eventually asks you aboutthe pills?

What’s the hamartia, or fatal flaw, that defines you?

After all, she suspects you have a problem. You nearly told her so yourselfin a moment of vulnerability several years ago. Or don’t you remember?

If you had to disguise yourself as a mortal, what job would you want as cover?

If she calls and asks if you took them, should you confess?

How do you maintain your godlike physique?

What if you say that since the pills had expired, you assumed they were goingto be thrown out?

Someone has made an immortal enemy of you. How do you deal with them?

What if you admit that you acted stupidly, impulsively, and that you’re pro-foundly ashamed?

If your followers were to build you a temple, what would it look like?

What if you explain that it’s nearly impossible not to steal pills that makeyou feel euphoric, energetic, talkative, and confident—basically, everythingyou’re not?

From what do you derive your godly power?

What if, on top of all that, you tell your sister you threw away the pills at a reststop on the way back to Pennsylvania because you were so disgusted withyourself?

What offerings should your followers make to win your favor?

If you say all that—including the thing about the rest stop, which is a lie—will your sister forgive you?

What sort of blessings do you award those who follow you?

Even if she does, won’t you be forever diminished in her eyes? She looks upto you, admires your accomplishments, and often brags to her friends aboutyou. How could you have been willing to risk losing her respect?

What’s your attitude on godly power?

It will be easier to lie if she ever asks you about it. Even if she doesn’t believeyou, she can’t prove anything, right?

In what sort of realm can your followers find you?

But isn’t lying despicable, especially between siblings who love each other?

A problem threatens the peace of Olympus. What’s your approach to fixing it?

Before your sister notices the pills are gone, shouldn’t you risk the consequencesof telling...