Seeking Balance and Recovery in a Life Near People Who Care

Greece

I was born in 1977 in a small village of North-Eastern Greece. I am the fourth out of five siblings. My mother suffered from schizophrenia. I mostly remember her feeling unwell and I now realize that she faced serious difficulties due to her symptoms. My father repeatedly mentioned to me that he was the one who delivered me. My childhood memories are not pleasant; my mother was kindhearted, but I felt completely neglected by her. My father was supportive; I keep his words in my heart, I now think that his advice was soothing to my soul.

Everyone at home seemed to face their own challenges. Things at school were also difficult because I had learning difficulties and no help with studying. As time went by, things were getting worse, because my father had a heart attack and could not care for us all. At the age of 10, I was assigned to a foster family in Athens due to the difficult circumstances at home. My father approved this, hoping that I would have a chance for a better future, while growing up in a more stimulating, stable environment. I can still recall the day he accompanied me to Athens, by bus. I was wearing brand new shoes, clean clothes, my hair was neat and we enjoyed rich, tasty meals at bus stops, on the way. I also remember his eyes filled with tears, while we were saying goodbye. He died a few years later.

My foster parents had a big house in a quiet suburb of Athens and at that time they raised four more children, three boys and a girl, also coming from families with psychosocial difficulties. They were Catholic and consequently very strict in my upbringing. I remember myself being shy, socializing mainly with my foster siblings and adult family friends, not being able to invite my own friends to my house. Puberty was a difficult period; I didn't get along well with my mother and teachers and my father was distant. I managed to graduate junior high school, despite my learning difficulties.

When I became 16, my foster parents insisted in me moving to a city near my homeland, where I enrolled to a technical school in order to become a plumber. I decided to go with mixed feelings—on the one hand I was happy to get away from the strict foster family environment but on the other hand I definitely felt unwanted by my foster parents. I adapted fairly well. However, I thought I was different from other teenagers, I was anxious about being consistent and good at my work as an apprentice. I tried hard to focus on that, but my efforts were not much appreciated by my employer, who paid me a very low salary without social security. I also have good memories, we used to have good times with fellow apprentices. We were frequently going out for a meal or drink.

At the age of 18, I served my military service. It was a good experience, because my superiors were kind and rather protective towards me. 18 months later I returned to Athens, started to work, but also started feeling psychologically unwell. I felt that my mind was blurry, my interests, personal ideas and wishes were all getting mixed up. I became extremely emotional. Things became intolerable and seemed extremely complicated. I started having severe headaches. I felt tense. No one at home could understand my situation and I remember quarreling with my mother on a daily basis. I cannot remember those days in detail, but I cannot forget my mother's frightened look after a fight. I felt extremely frustrated by my symptoms, I was very lonely and I decided to take some acupuncture and yoga sessions. This effort proved in vain. My symptoms escalated. I felt worse and could no longer manage my thoughts and behavior. People near me seemed embarrassed by my actions. I had difficulties distinguishing what was a fact and what was just a thought of mine.

I ended up visiting a...