Dedication: The NAISA family mourns the loss of brilliant Kiowa scholar Jenny Tone-Pah-Hote

Jenny Elizabeth Tone-Pah-Hote (1980–2020), Ph.D., citizen of the Kiowa Tribe, associate professor, daughter of Preston and Deborah, mother of Steven, and spouse to Keith.

Photo by Amy Stern.

She Really Was Quite Funny

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

For those who don't knowHer name was Jenny Tone-Pah-HoteAnd she was a professor

She was proudly KiowaWhich gave me occasion to tease herAbout Kiowas at the Supreme Court

She was a historianAnd she loved artAnd anything silly or absurd

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

She had an admirably gentle wayOf getting manyTo see past her intersectionality

She was brilliantAnd an accomplished scholarWith plenty more within reach

She was generousWith her witAnd her laughter

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

I suppose it's time to admitIn addition to all those thingsShe was also my spouse

Although spouseIs an inadequate wordMaybe she was more like a partner

There are so many other wordsLover, friend, agitator, confidanteThat are only pieces of her to me

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

That cold really lingeredShould you go to the doctor?I guess I'm glad you did

The doctor seemed confidentHe said it was very treatableI guess the leukemia showed him

I just needed youFor forty more yearsI guess the leukemia felt otherwise

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

WordsHave given me a careerBut not enough to do her justice

There really is so muchYou should know about JennyHer favorite color was purple

She found humor with easeEven if it originatedFrom herself

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

She created two wonderful thingsAround the same timeHer book and our son

Her bookIs a work of artAbout more than just art

Our sonHas his mother'sSense of humor

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

She kept tryingTo get me to laughBut I was a fool

I was stubbornMaybe I thought thatI was the funny one

I held it inSo very much of itOn the inside

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

Defined by kindnessShe never quit trying with meI should have been more kind to her

What kind of manDenies such joyTo both his wife and himself?

I hope she knewHow much I giggledOn the inside

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes

They were the best5,327 daysOf my life

Although leukemiaMade the last six monthsHarder to bear

Still, I'd marry her againI have no regretsWell … maybe just one

        I should have laughed at more of her jokes