For Transgender Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When Social Justice Is Enough!

"I had planned to jump from the Golden Gate Bridge. A month before my actual jump attempt, I practiced. I needed to calculate everything. I needed to see how long it would take me to drive to San Francisco at night, where to park my beloved car, and how to make it to the actual bridge from where I parked. I wanted to die in high heels, so I needed to prepare for that walk down a steep land-made staircase, up another steel staircase, and possibly through sand. There were 150 steps down hill to the beach. There were 450 steps back up to the top of the bridge. Then a long walk to its highest point. It was cold. Even colder at the top of the bridge. The water was a frigid 40 degrees. I wanted to die in warm water, but the Pacific is as cold as the transphobic hearts of legions of Americans. I stood no chance of surviving the icy water even if the 220 feet drop into the Bay did not shatter my skeleton or stop my heart instantly. Jumping seemed to be my only way out: the only way I could stop the pain. I had nothing and I had no one. Being a Black transgender woman was far too painful to keep living. Death felt like the only solution…like the only freedom"—the Lady in Black