This article utilizes a recent illustration of a gray asexual–themed cake by Tumblr artist fellenleaf as a point of entry into a discussion of asexuality and diasporic Pilipinx relationalities. The illustration depicts a Pilipinx rice cake, called sapin-sapin, altered in color and flavoring to represent gray asexuality. fellenleaf's sapin-sapin (and ube coconut rice balls) begets questions about how the illustration engages with both asexual and diasporic Pilipinx ways of knowing and relating. Thinking with asexuality studies and diasporic Pilipinx queer studies, I propose asexual assemblages as a mode of asexual theorizing to explore diasporic Pilipinx erotic intimacies as queer forms of relationality. I consider the tensions and possibilities of aligning, alliancing, and assembling two seemingly distinct fields together. I also analyze fellenleaf's illustration as an example of how asexuality and diasporic Pilipinx platonic relationalities can be brought meaningfully into alliance. In sapin-sapin–like layers, I argue that thinking asexually can nuance the role of relationality in diasporic communities and address the impacts of colonialism, transnationalism, and compulsory sexuality.