How Confusing! Clues into the French Psyche as Observed in Its Language

978 THE FRENCH ARE NEVER CONFUSED. Is this because of an extraordinary mineral found in the escargot? Is it due to special “revelations” poured out upon those who regularly consume red wine? Is it the consequence of an educational system steeped in Cartesian rationalism? Nay, it is none of these. The French are never confused because they cannot be, since the adjective “confus/e/s” is not employed in French to describe a person’s mental state. Directions might be confusing, explanations cloudy, a passage of text confounding, but a perplexed human being can never be “confus.” It is simply syntactically impossible. Things, on the other hand, may be confus. Late seventeenth century archbishop and poet François Fénelon somewhat ironically used this adjective to describe the French language itself, which was, according to him, a confluence of disparate and sometimes muddled linguistic influences: “Notre langue n’est qu’un mélange de grec, de latin et de tudesque, avec quelques restes confus de gaulois” (49). Symbolist poet Charles Baudelaire likewise employed this adjective to describe language. Yet in his famous sonnet, “Correspondances,” it is not the language of the Gauls but the words uttered by nature’s “living pillars” that are thus described: La nature est un temple où de vivants piliers Laissent parfois sortir de confuses paroles; L’homme y passe à travers des forêts de symboles Qui l’observent avec des regards familiers. (11) When the adjective confus is used in reference to a person, however, its meaning changes. A human designated as confus is not “confused,” but rather, according to the online dictionary WordReference, “sorry” or “embarrassed.” Novelist Anna Gavalda illustrates the former denotation of the French adjective in Je l’aimais: THE FRENCH REVIEW, Vol. 86, No. 5, April 2013 Printed in U.S.A. How Confusing! Clues into the French Psyche as Observed in Its Language by Bendi Benson Schrambach J’avais envie d’une cigarette. C’était idiot, je ne fumais plus depuis des années. Oui mais voilà, c’est comme ça la vie [...] Vous faites preuve d’une volonté formidable et puis un matin d’hiver, vous décidez de marcher quatre kilomètres dans le froid pour racheter un paquet de cigarettes ou alors, vous aimez un homme, avec lui vous fabriquez deux enfants et un matin d’hiver, vous apprenez qu’il s’en va parce qu’il en aime une autre. Ajoute qu’il est confus, qu’il s’est trompé. Comme au téléphone: “Excusez-moi, c’est une erreur.” Mais je vous en prie. (34) Jean Rostand, twentieth-century biologist and member of the illustrious Académie française, exhibits the latter definition in his Pages d’un moraliste: “Vis-à-vis de qui nous loue, nous nous sentons à la fois gênés comme son supérieur et confus comme son obligé” (Citations et Proverbes). It is likely that many a student of French has incited confusion (forgive the pun) in Francophone collocutors by the misappropriation of the adjective confus. The English cognate understandably invites misuse by beginners. My anecdotal experience as a teacher of the language has revealed that, unless I spend class time to explain this faux ami, a student will inevitably erroneously declare, “Je suis confus/e!” at some point in the semester. The challenge, then, is to find a literal equivalent in French. For, unfortunately, Americans seem to be perpetually confused. At least, the prevalence of this word in English—both in and outside of the French classroom—makes it appear so. Americans are relatively quick to assign the label of confusion. Like a “Get out of Jail Free” card, confusion can be a means of discharging our obligation. We find a foolproof alibi in the vagueness confusion evokes. Both obscure and ambiguous, it exempts us from further inquiry. Consider the strategic use of this adjective by notorious American figure Lizzie Andrew Borden when on trial for patricide: “I don’t know what I have said. I have answered so many questions and I am so confused I don’t know one thing from another. I am telling you just as nearly as I know” (BrainyQuote). Her confusion, suggestive of...