But Your Daughter So Pretty

for Margaret Cho

Anniyo! Gaze: her flat nose, crooked teeth, coarsehair, much acne. No praise for unremarkable face.Too skinny, so chubby, so tall, too short: most average.Eat more; no more food! Eyes tiny, will need surgery.Very bad surgeon, looks worse than before. Don't peepthe mirror. Good girls not vain. Why are youalways on phone? Study! Don't play sports, onlyboys should do that. Study! Study! Why can't youwear more skirts? Are you a boy? Be more likeher or her or her or her over there. Do morefor extra credit, but come home right afterschool. Go to the library. Why are you always atthe library? Did you hear Mrs. Kim's daughter gotinto Harvard and Yale? Mrs. Lee's got a perfectscore on her SATs. Mrs. Lim's girls have scholarshipsto Princeton, Columbia, and Cornell. If not Ivy Leagueor Stanford then none of this will matter. No oneis going to want to marry you. Date after college. Onlybad girls have boyfriends, so don't be bad. Why notmarried yet? Is something wrong with you? Don't begay. Are you gay? Only marry Korean, but if not, whiteis okay. Korean is always better. Why couldn't you bea doctor or lawyer or work in a nice office? Mrs.Park's daughter married a very rich Korean man. Mrs.Choi's daughter had a baby then another. Two sons!Why not married yet? It's getting late, what is wrongwith you? Don't want you to suffer. We wantyou to be happy. Happier if you gave usgrandsons. Getting too old. Why can't you marry?Anyone will do. You're already so old––who willmarry you now? Doesn't anyone love you? Go to church. Jesus loves you. We'll pray for you.Why won't you listen? We just want the best for you.OK, do what you want. You never listen anyway.