Ad Lanc. Andrewes, Episc. / To Bishop Lancelot Andrewes

Ad Lanc. Andrewes, Episc.¹

Sanctissime Pater

Statìm a solatio aspectus Tui, Ego auctior iam gaudio atque distentior, Cantabrigiam redij. Quid enim manerem? habui viaticum favoris Tui, quod longiori multò itineri sufficeret.² Nunc obrutus Academicis negotijs, aegrè hoc tempus illis succido: non quin pectus meum plenum Tui sit, atque effusissimum in omnia officia, quae praestet mea parvitas; sed ut faciliùs ignoscas occupato calamo, qui etiam ferians nihil Tua perfectione dignum procudere possit. Utcunque Tua lenitas non ita interpretabitur mea haec scribendi intervalla, ac si iuuenili potius impetu correptus, quam adductus maturo consilio, primas dedissem literas, ideoque praefervida illa desideria silentio suo sepulta nunc languescere, ut halitus tenuiores solent, qui primo caloris suasu excitati atque expergefacti, ubi sursum processerint paulò, frigefacti demum relabuntur: Hoc quidem illis accidere amat, qui celeritatem affectuum raptìm sequentes, ad omnem eorum auram vacillant: Ego, non nisi meditatò, obrepsi ad favorem Tuum; perfectionibus Tuis, meis desiderijs probè cognitis, excussis, perpensisque: cum enim vim cogitationum in vitam meam omnem convertissem, & ex altera parte acuissem me aspectu virtutum Tuarum; huc, illuc commeando, eò deveni animo, ut nunquam cessandum mihi ducerem, nunquam fatiscendum, donec lacteam aliquam viam ad candorem Mentis Tuae ducentem aut reperissem aut fecissem. Neque quòd ignotior eram, retundebatur unquam impetus: quip[pe,] qui sic colligebam; si tam abiectus sim, ut laboribus meis plurimis atque assiduâ observantiâ, ramenta quaepiam ex tantâ Humanitatis massâ, quae apud Te visitur, abscindere non possim, absque molestâ aliorum ac frigidâ commendatione: si huc reciderit omnis studiorum spes fructusque,

Cur ego laborem, notus esse tam pravè?Cum stare gratìs cum silentio possim.

To Bishop Lancelot Andrewes

Most Holy Father

Seeing you gave me great comfort. Afterwards, I returned without delay to Cambridge, more assured and brimming with happiness. For why would I stay? I had the viaticum¹ of Your approval, enough for a much longer journey. I have been buried in academic matters of late. I find it hard to carve out this time away from them. My heart is devoted to You but also entirely dedicated to all the duties my lowly self performs. I say this knowing you might find it easier to forgive my preoccupied pen. Even if I had all the time in the world, I would be unable to hammer out anything worthy of your accomplishments. In any event, Your lenient nature will be more forgiving of my short lapse in writing than it would be of receiving a first letter from me more carried away by a youthful whim than guided by a mature plan. For this reason, those burning desires die down now,²buried in their own silence as breezes tend to be – once roused and stirred up by the first hint of the sun’s heat, having risen a little higher, they sink back again finally, once cooled. People who hastily give in to their impetuous moods are likely in fact to behave like this, vacillating with their every breath. I did not creep into Your favor without forethought.³ I had a thorough understanding of Your achievements and my ambitions, having examined and carefully considered them. In fact, once I had begun to concentrate on the totality of my life, sharpened as well by the act of gazing on Your virtues, back and forth, in one direction and then another, I reached the point in my thinking where I realized I must never rest, must never weaken before finding or building a milky road leading to Your Mind’s dazzling whiteness.⁴ And I did not restrain my enthusiasm because I was relatively unknown. Indeed, I somehow began to think along these lines: have I been so worthless as not to have been able to gather a few shavings⁵ from such a mass of Kindness as Your house offered? Despite my many attempts and unflagging diligence? Yours so thoroughly unlike others’ exasperatingly cold approval? If our studies’ every hope and profit will have amounted to nothing,

Why should I labor so misguidedly to be well known,When I might be able to stand still with silence for free?⁶

Quod tamen...