Do Angels Really Exist?

Twice now, I have been at the edge of death. When I was 44, I started feeling tired, and my breathing had become dif cult. I thought I had developed asthma so I scheduled a doctor's appointment. The doctor ordered an x-ray and promptly sent me to a cardiologist who explained that I was in Congestive Heart Failure. The only cure was a heart transplant. I was told I had cardiomyopathy caused by a virus. The doctor suggested that I start taking heart medications. He couldn't say for sure how long the medications would sustain me.

Three years later, the medications were no longer effective, and my heart function started to severely deteriorate. I was admitted to the hospital and underwent a heart biopsy. My heart was so large and so weak, my body couldn't tolerate the test and the doctors had to revive me using shock paddles. This was my first brush with death.

I was immediately put on life support, where I was told to lay flat and keep my right leg straight. It was uncomfortable, and I was miserable. I was so weak that I had no energy to even feed myself—not that I was very hungry. My husband fed me as much as he could. Thirteen long days passed. A heart was donated from a family in Montana. I was in the OR for 18 hours, and once the surgery was completed, the surgeons were trying to get the heart to start functioning, but unfortunately, that heart failed to begin beating on its own. Consequently, I was put on a second type of life support that did the work of a functioning heart. As the days passed, I got weaker and weaker, and my internal organs were failing. I was too sick to even pray for myself, and I had to depend on the prayers of others.

On the eighth day, the surgical team was close to making the decision to take me off of all life support, but before my surgeon was able to consult with my husband about the plan, the surgeon's beeper went off alerting him that there was another heart available. With no guarantee that I would survive another surgery, they decided to go ahead with the second transplant. This heart was a success! I received a heart from a young girl. Her family made the generous decision for her to be a total tissue donor. She not only saved my life but helped eight others, and enhanced the lives of up to 50 people.

Every day I give thanks and feel a deep gratitude to my donor and her family. So often, I think of the tragedy they endured, so heart wrenching and their grief unimaginable. I love the medical staff as well.

Seeing My Angels

Sometime during those tumultuous eight days, I had a remarkable thing happen. As I lay in the hospital bed so weak and not able to move my body, I had a near-death experience. My chest was still open from surgery. All that protected my organs was a sterile "plastic" covering. I had tubes in my chest to drain the fluid from my lungs, a breathing tube, an IV, and monitors all around when I had a vision. Though I did not have the strength to turn my head and could not do so consciously, I saw two angels on my left side who were standing side-by-side. They were composed of light and had a dimension through them, like foam. Their light was bright, but not blinding. They stood side-by-side, slightly smaller than the size of a doorway. They were gentle in spirit and emanated pure love. I emphasize pure because our word for love cannot describe fully the love I felt from them. The feeling was ineffable. As these two angels were summoning me to come with them, I looked off to my "right" (still unable to consciously or physically turn my head in any direction) and saw my husband, my cat, and the inside of my house. And when I looked back in the other direction towards...