Police Interrogation of Food Critic B. W. Ball

Would you like a cigarette? I’d prefer Talking Mule, 1979 Burgundy. Texture and hue of Bethlehem rust. Notes of must, slate, and pre-coital rouge when tongued to the roof of the mouth. Bold finish, lingering up to seventeen seconds, diminishing to uvular fog. 3.5 stars. Have they treated you well? Guard gave me an apple - Brandenburg Barbara. Thick-skinned, sturdy, heavy if held in a non-dominant hand. Loud when bitten, rewarding moisture and zest, firm meat’s sweetness haloed by sting. Best served with damp towels. 3 stars. So what do you remember about last night? Odor!