Déli Határzár, and Loneliness

If and when language disappears will it go so far away that we can no longer say it's ours will it cross over triumphant into the next life or will it unravel like a sorrow I imagine it striding in the dark and finding its way back onto your tongue sometimes when I hear you sleeping I know an entire day has been taken away is put somewhere awaiting its turn to speak nothing's been invented that's more illegible than morning for example you will shrink from me and eat outside in the garden rigged with wind oh I'll say because I'm hurt oh I'll say again because I've no place to go and because you're building a tent out there to show me something.

what is it you wish to show me my love you abandon your shoes and walk out a prayer in the dirt the next winter I look out the window and you're still there asking to be let in you wave your flag you have a baby in your arms it cries out a petition for warmth so I do what any Hungarian would do I lock the doors I lock the windows I point three thousand guns at you from above and spread razor wire at your feet while me and my heart wait behind nothing's walls I'm sorry I tell you but you might have a bomb or a disease or an idea even a small one will threaten to shake awake the dreamers I have piled beneath the porch go back to hunger and song and let me be lonely I think I'll never let you in to the cold house where I talk to the blank walls about love.

The Déli Határzár is a Hungarian border barrier constructed in 2015, in response to the European Migrant Crisis. Its purpose is to prevent immigrants and displaced peoples from crossing the border and claiming asylum in Hungary.

Loneliness

1

How simple loneliness is it grows and blossoms like a fruit like light it divides and refracts and multiplies when you touch it and soon there are hundreds of thousands of solitary brooms marching against you following you into valleys and deepening caves I don't mean you I don't mean to say that this will happen to you what I'm saying is that for a long time my heart stopped and I kissed the inside of a golden day this early spring goodbye I had somewhere else in mind somewhere still attached to the leash but not moving asleep laid out in a row on the margins of the river like a marked duck once I spotted a decoy so finely made I thought it was the real thing I tossed it a piece of bread and when it did not move I promised to love it for the rest of my life I held my heart in my two arms saying it's ours.

2

They don't know anything all the mothers and shades existing where I was born the years rose and fell and we watched them playing invisible in the blue sunlight we woke together then and kissed often certain words in certain orders contained worlds and hurt me now to remember in another window uncurtained enough to see two faces glowing in the television light hands held companions without sound who remember only moment by moment and sleep remarkably well this is the blessed neighborhood with one bell that sounds like a cry still loosened from another age entirely just one syllable its whole life I do not know that anyone else waits with their face pressed against the window of the car pretending to be a mountain except that boy I knew that boy he left footprints behind as a monument to everything you can hear him humming outside sometimes when he's knee-deep in the sandbox crafting a world in which he is less alone and crushing it.

3

During the war there was...