My mother didn't believewhen, in 1945, I appeared to herin a dream and told herI would be born to her the following year.
My father recognized meAs soon as he sawthe mole below my left thumb.But Mother believed to the very endthat someone else had been born to hermasquerading as me.
Father and I pleaded with her;but dreams are not reliable witnesses.She went on waiting for thatpromised son till she died
Only when she was reborn as my daughterdid she admit it had really been me.
But by then I had begun to doubtit was someone else's heartthat was beating within my body.
One day I will retrieve my heart;my language too. [End Page 146]
K. Satchidanandan is a Malayalam poet born in Pullut in Kerala. In addition to novels and drama, he has published over twenty books of poetry, sixteen collections of translations of poetry, and twenty-one collections of essays. His books in English include While I Write: New and Selected Poems. His honors include the National Sahitya Akademi Award, Oman Cultural Centre Award, Ashan Award, Odakuyal Prize, Ullor Award, and World Poetry Peace Prize from the UAE. He was nominated for the 2011 Nobel Prize in literature.