Tweet

"Tweet" has been defined as "both anoun and a verb for a text that is bothtoo short and too long."

The source: a Tweet.Its author: me.Its dubious authority: authoritativelydubious.

As one of the newest short forms toemerge in our time, the Tweet is aproduct of early twenty-first-centurysocial media.

Which, as future cultural historians will note, was:1. Not social.2. Not media.

And yet: in our ongoing structuraltransformation of the public sphereinto a public-private partnership ofthe utopian and the nihilistic, nothingmatters more than ever before.

The Tweet has become, or arguablyalways already was, our culture. Ourpolitics. Your symptom. Their disease.

#LongStoryShort

The dynamics of both Twitter andthe Tweet remain elusive. Clear,however, is their far from marginalpropensity to consume.

When it comes to obsession, associal media has taught us, it onlytakes a little. You just have to thinkbig.

Numerous studies have assessedTwitter's contribution to a widearray of pathologies. While leavingone largely neglected: literature.

What, may we ask, is a Tweet interms of a literary form? One that,at first, followed function. Then soongrew bored. Put it on mute. Andblocked it.

The only truly defining feature of aTweet is that it is a text or image orvideo or string of emojis createdusing Twitter. A platform, as futureanthropologists will say, designedfor inspiring and carefully curatinghumanity's most destructiveimpulses.

Twitter is a glass house. Tweets arethe stones thrown within it.

There is, of course, a pre-history of the Tweet:

Aphorism = literature + philosophy

Epigram = prose – paragraphs

Tweet = [aesthetics – aesthetics] + [politics – politics]

And let us not forget poetry. Thereally short ones were likeTweets that sometimes rhymed. Thatnobody ever read. And thatoccasionally changed the world.

#GoReadATweet

The Tweet is not a genre. Rather: itis a frame. Containing a pipe.Pretending to be a painting.

The Tweet is a message. In a bottle.In a brown paper bag. On a rush-hour commuter train.

The Tweet is technology's answer.To a question society never asked.

The Tweet is the sound of an idiot.Signifying nothing but the love ofone's own fury.

The Tweet is The Birth of Brevity.From the Spirit of Attention DeficitDisorder.

The Tweet is a lonely cloud.Wandering about monetizing itsloneliness.

The Tweet is a nascent epic. Singinga song of its selfie.

The Tweet is a silent prayer.Waiting to be unanswered.

The Tweet is a portrait of amovement. As a young meme.

The Tweet is an old man walkinginto a bar. Ordering the sea.

#AestheticIdeology

A good Tweet employs the tools andtechniques of the aphorism. Whendone properly: in order to destroy it.

A good Tweet scoffs at theaphorism's snotty self-satisfaction.Exhumes a nugget from the Tomb ofthe Unknown Author. And dances onwisdom's unmarked grave.

A good Tweet knows that youphilosophize with a hammer. Andtweet with a sickle.

A good Tweet is a window. Thrownthrough a brick.

A good Tweet knows there are noboring Tweets. Just boring writers.Of boring Tweets.

A good Tweet preaches the gospelthat to tweet is human. To delete:divine.

Tweeting is not an art, but a craftthat can be learned:

1. Tweet.2. Get tired of tweeting.3. Hate tweeting.4. Now you're tweeting.

In short:

1. Hope for the best.2. Expect the worst.3. Hit "Tweet."

#InConclusion

At its best: Twitter is WalterBenjamin's famous lost suitcase.Circulating for the last eighty years atbaggage claim. Its contents spillingout on the carousel.

At its worst: same.

Ultimately, there is no definition ofthe Tweet. Only an ethos: Hope less.Tweet harder.

For, like it or not, friends: that daywill come. When social media is nomore. And we will return to ourbooks. A little bowed. A little bent.And hope they'll still speak to us. [End Page 433...