In this anecdotal article, I employ Eva Mackey's concept of settler uncertainty to analyse my place in settler colonialism. I grew up in the quintessentially Canadian setting of Parry Sound, Ontario–a town steeped in anti-Indigenous racism as much as nationalistic imagery. However, majoring in Canadian studies at Carleton University forced me to grapple with the colonial and racist nature of my upbringing. This self-reflexive piece critically examines my motivations for entering academia through formative stories from my childhood and reflections on my scholarly pursuits, exploring the influence of guilt on my so-called transformation. This article was originally written during my political science undergraduate degree at York University. Rather than updating it I have added another level of reflection critically analysing the previous work. I outline my previous adherence to colonial structures, my internal struggle to leave them behind, and ongoing reflections concerning settler decolonisation within the academy.


Additional Information

Print ISSN
pp. 209-226
Launched on MUSE
Open Access
Back To Top

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Without cookies your experience may not be seamless.