Ledger

I sieve pruned beans for little rocks that would break teeth thenBraise them with tomatoes I slide out of skins with tender grip.We are not speaking but the creek grew lush.During the hottest part of the day I mix lamb with breadLemon egg mint and cardamom press them into balls. Sometimes I do notThink about putting my hand in your hair and pulling hard.Your thumb holding down my tongueWhenever I was close to finishing. You are in your large house thinking of meSometimes surely when the light is frank on the oaks.Your steady hands writing me a letterTall capitals K's then throwing it all away.I admit I am only imagining it. YouBent over the lonely dog. Touching her roan head out of habit.You are calling her good. Sometimes the hours the badDifficult few of afternoon slide into the pastBecome completely unrecoverableAnd I will not have thought of you notOnce. When I begged you to come near and you stayedAcross the room. That first night of bald fireflies. Loss a butter knifeIn the hip of a sheep. I sweep the porch nowCatch spiders in cups even though it is lessEffort to kill them. They cannot thank me.Do you know I am getting lean like a farmhand?I can run far without stopping to cry.The cicadas pull off their skinAnd still sing. For a treatCold rice in a little orange juice. I perch a foot on my other kneeAnd light one cigarette. Do you hear what I am telling you?The oiled cartilage between us rubbed down. Now loveA bone spur against the groin. Stunning pain when I turn aroundToo quickly. Thinking I hear a noise at the door.