Poet Wrestling with the Little Graces
- Poet Wrestling with the Little Graces
What am I? And if not now. When. No known. Last. Name.
No known last address. Buried. Bareheaded. Hailing. My doubt.
Tracks through limited visibility. With love. Clutching free hand.
My doubt pulling on him. For balance. For awful eggs & awful steak.
Post-prayers unsent. At awful diner of awful plates. We only end up at. Post-
outages & sunken streets of post. No bills & over stoops where wavering
fallen trees. Are prayers. Like post-awful meals. My love
always listening. If not now. When I scratch probable
promises. On the last of my blue. Jerusalem
notepaper. While outside & above. A congregation
waits. My congregation. A bima of elevated trains.
& passengers. Looking for familiar. Tarnished lights & silver
snaking. Their longing. Is tarnished Kiddush cups post-
cursing. I have been. Waiting on unpraised platforms.
Makes lands of sandstone & blue paper
distant. Their longing is my longing.
In motion my doubt speaks after.
& freely. If not when. I now.
Probably. Always. My doubt.
Its own. Grave & stone. [End Page 12]
Those false & most silent
guardians. My doubt. Is a measure.
Of promise. Here. My love eating the last rotten
egg & open air. Is a tunnel. & tomorrow.
I am. No other. Sign. Or. Miracle. [End Page 13]
Rosebud Ben-Oni is a recipient of the 2014 NYFA Fellowship in Poetry and a 2013 CantoMundo Fellow; her most recent collection, turn around, BRXGHT XYXS, was selected as Agape Editions' EDITORS' CHOICE, and will be published in 2019. Her poem "Poet Wrestling with Angels in the Dark" was commissioned by the National September 11 Memorial & Museum in NYC.
