That Time I Went North & Woke Up with a New Face
Rent from DeepDyve- That Time I Went North & Woke Up with a New Face
the last person i truly loved1 married someone with my namenot me, of course, i am too full of cities to lay on a single bedof grass, eventually every blade will be concrete pulled across my skin i imagine the other man dragged this name of ours out of a burning house2& threw it across the los angeles basin—there, it grew into a field of daffodils& diamonds & who wouldn't dream to shine like that?—to have a bouquet of facessomeone will love until one of you dies, & even after—i don't know3 after all, wasn't i the one who torched the house, who singedthe carpet & swept all the ants into the stove—wasn't i the one who pointed to the edgeof a map & then flew across it4 who am i to look back & wonderwhat i should do with these scorched & empty palms who am i to try & resurrect someone who is not dead—just distant —i don't mean to harvest old bruises like plums too ripe & wilted but todaysomeone said my name & it no longer belonged to me so instead of becoming absence5 i throw smooth stones off a bridge in berkeley& resent the way the river begs for more—i swear the old adage about water6& the mirror is a filthy, filthy lie—all i see below is a dead fish being pulled apartby the current, its scales still glistening in the light—& what a miraculous thing: tohave a facethat glitters like the sharpest scythe or a field of houses burning in the distance [End Page 15]
Brandon Melendez the author of Gold That Frames The Mirror. A recipient of the the 2018 Djanikian Scholarship from the Adroit Journal and the 2018 Academy of American Poets Award, his poems can be found in Black Warrior Review, Muzzle Magazine, Ninth Letter, The Journal, Sixth Finch, and elsewhere. He currently lives in Boston and is an MFA candidate at Emerson College.
Footnotes
1. when i say truly loved / i mean my car was towed / outside your house once / & sometimes i still wake up / stranded / in noho /
2. somewhere near the intersection / of camarillo & lankershim
3. i can't recall exactly / but my hands are now / a freeway / if you look close / enough / you can see us / driving across california / if you look closer / the car is empty / & the freeway is empty & / these are just hands / & not the distance between / us /
4. i imagine it now / like you rolled over / in bed / one morning / & then /
5.
6. remember how we were water / how the dolphins wet / the back of our throats / & we spilled out from the river / remember how we flooded the car / from the inside / a torrent of rebellious tongue / remember how no one can touch the same / river twice / remember how / we never touched again /
