How to Sell Your Family to the Aliens by Paul Noth (review)

Grandma’s experiments and Dad’s inventions may have led to the Conklin family wealth, but Happy Conklin Jr. isn’t sure it was worth it. He’s a ten-year-old kid with facial hair like a “lumberjack werewolf,” and his sisters have fared no better as subjects for Grandma’s “research” (spacey Kayla talks to an imaginary bee, and Alice is a kleptomaniac). His attempt to stop Grandma from testing a new Conklin product on his sweet baby sister Lu takes a bizarre turn after he discovers that his grandmother’s scientific endeavors aren’t limited to this planet. When aliens show up wanting to exchange a million dollars for dear old Grandma, Happy’s happy to oblige—until he realizes aliens don’t really distinguish family members, and his parents and sisters are taken too. Happy’s narration is pitch perfect for middle-graders, balancing his affection for and exasperation with his family, and he’s a likable guy, a bit clueless but well intentioned. Goofy humor abounds here, from the many Conklin family products (“Buns of Abs,” a workout program for ab-shaped muscles on your bottom, and “Clockos, the only taco that tells time,” to name a few) to Happy’s obsession with TV wrestling, which turns out to be sponsored by the aliens and which actually comes in handy when his family is forced to wrestle in the Imperial Death Match. Cartoonish black and white illustrations vary from spot art to comic paneling, and the octopus-like aliens are cute to boot. Fans of Allen’s Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (BCCB 9/15) will find a similar combination of warmth and weirdness here.