When I Tell You I Love You
Rent from DeepDyve- When I Tell You I Love You
When I tell you I love you what I mean isI've seen your body in piecesas recently as last night, on the couch,the bbc needling through our longest daylike light through a keyhole. I said, oh God.You said, there's going to be a warand each word was a metal coilsmall as a finger, hot enough to cook teeth,each word was a sheet used to lift you into a truck.When I say I love you what I mean isyou're too old to love a rifle like a brotherand I'm too old for false comfortbut even now, on the couch, with the tvshowing us the closed front doorof a well-dressed leader, we feelwhat I think is love fumbling for the generator,lights blinking on in the city of us,and there are people with suitcases lined upon the streets of our marriage like memories,and when I tell you I love you what I mean isour memories travel in times of upheavalfrom the mind toward the rib cage, crossingthat treacherous, tender river of throat.When I tell you I love you what I want you to hear isthat each remembrance is a young familyand when war comes, you and I will sleepon the shore of ourselves to watchthe horizon for incoming rafts. [End Page 187]
Abby E. Murray teaches creative writing at the University of Washington Tacoma, where she also hosts free workshops for veterans, soldiers, and their loved ones. She's the editor of Collateral, on online literary journal that explores the impact of military service beyond the combat zone. Her recent poems have appeared in Rattle, Stone Canoe, the Rise Up Review, and others.
