We Can't Be Friends by Cyndy Etler (review)

In this sequel to the harrowing memoir of her time in controversial rehab program Straight, Inc. (The Dead Inside, BCCB 5/17), Etler covers her return to high school and the lingering effects of the emotional abuse she suffered in the service of "recovery." Fully convinced that she is now a dry druggie who must remain hypervigilant against any hint of an addictive substance other than coffee, she comes across as hysterical, constantly echoing the soul-destroying messages that she internalized from Straight. She describes her experiences with the various types of twelve-step program meetings she attends to protect her sobriety, but it's clear that her real problems, including the post-traumatic stress of early sexual abuse and her unfulfilled quest for love and acceptance, were exacerbated rather than helped by the rehab program. As a result, she ends up being emotionally manipulated by people she befriends and raped by boys and men who find the vulnerable women at group meetings easy prey. Eventually suicidal, she finally gets some needed psychiatric care, but it's not until she finds music that speaks to her depression that she realizes that she is not to blame for her situation and that she is in fact a normal person who's been fed a lifetime of lies. This is a gritty, hard-hitting, and, for many readers, unfortunately necessary exploration of what's really behind the lures of self-destructive behaviors, and what real recovery is and isn't. KC