Lucky

I meant no disrespect to my body.Sleepless, I made my way to the outdoor showerhard rosebuds of insect bites rising. VitaminB, lavender oil, tea tree oil, Benadryl, nothing helped& nothing made me less of a feast to the predawnmosquitoes & fleas. Long ago I held a mesh bagseething w/ ladybugs, my first sense of wealth,all that luck at once, released on the backyard rosebush,tiny black mouths & bright buttery wingspinching aphids. I cannot drown beneath the waverof an outdoor shower, rubber sandals sucking againsta concrete drain, but I can try. Next to me a little girlshowers w/ her mother, tramping a plastic horsethrough the soap scum & fallenhair nests. The tiny cello of her body, like mine,is covered in itched welts, the shape of her lifesinging all around her, sunlight crashinginto the manchineel, itching & scratching,a beautiful sunburn, bee stings. I am strandedfrom her joy, the torn bag revealing its red bugs, theirblack mouths fastened to my body soresw/ hunger, w/ attentive love,call it what you want.