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The War in Heaven (Angel's Monologue) by Joseph Chaikin and Sam Shepard Idied the day I was born and became an Angel on that day since then there are no days there is no time I am here by mistake I'm not sure now how it happened I crashed I know I crashed In these streets I came down I don't know what went wrong I was a part of something I remember being a member 249 I was moving I had certain orders a mission I had a small battalion Principalities Dominions I'm not sure now how I fit where I fit exactly I know there were those above me and those below but I'm not sure now where I fit so many things now so many earth earth just a little part just so much so tiny you can never catch so many air sometimes earth so small tiny so much more ever more more more more and more and dead sometimes even dead yes it's true There was a time when I felt I had a destination 250 Iwas moving toward something I thought I understood There was an order that was clear to me a lawful order Then we were invaded all the domains were shattered connections were broken we were sent in a thousand directions I'd be on a mission and forget where I was going I'd try to return and forget how to find my way back I'd be lost in between That's how I crashed in a moment of doubt I crashed to earth sometimes grief now grieving both sometimes it's true sometimes it's true it is grief grieving and grief both changing yes moving so many times it's true I think it's true sometimes God changing sometimes nothing sometimes no one else sometimes nothing sometimes only God 251 sometimes beginning over beginning yes it's true Every minute I'm here something's changing in me something's diminishing my power slips away Every second I'm here I'm weakening Take me back where you first found me and leave me there I'll find my way back from there Take me back I'll perish if I stay tied up like this I will I'll perish Then you'll be without me Turn me loose Turn me loose I can't live without you imagining me I have no life without your thought of me But you can't see me as I'm intended to be unless I'm turned loose Turn me loose Turn me loose You've kept me long enough air now so many things now so much everywhere so many earth sometimes God God sometimes nothing 252 nothing don't don't care I say I'm not interested not interesting to me but then God again God everywhere air everything out there beginning again beginning yes it's true I think it's true more the more is never never stops too much more more more more and more so nothing ever stops cuts because too much more extraordinary Take me back where you first found me Put me on the place I'll find my way back from there Take me back There was a time when I used to walk and flowers sprang up behind me 253 Now look no flowers Take me back There was a time when the light from my eyes was so powerful it would blind the sun Now look no light nothing Take me back There was a time when music surrounded me on all sides voices bells an incredible ringing Now listen nothing no sound but the sound of my voice Take me back I'm hovering above myself looking for a way back in I'm all around this body waiting Turn me loose Every second I'm weakening Turn me loose air again it comes surrounded everywhere it comes more so much more and more and more and more 254 Turn me loose I was here once before quite a while back I was sent here on a mission...


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pp. 249-262
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