Philomath

"Love of learning" is what        Philomath means. This side of a ghosttown, what kids are here hang out        in gravel parking lots & huntpixelated deer at The Woodsman. They break        into gutted sanctuariesof timber mills, looking for places to leave        their neon aerosoled names. In Philomath,Begg's Tires is the only place        to buy new chains, Cherry Tree's the bestprice on feed, & Ray's has everything        from meds to milk to LuckyStrikes & pocket knives. The only outlet        in Philomath sells wood, the kind that growsjust here & in the holy lands. True        Value boasts all the sturdy deadbolts for when the back door's gone        busted again. My friendMegan is still giving out        blow jobs to mechanics & drinkingred cough syrup until she doesn't        care about her step-dad walking around, covered in nothing        but sweat & dirt. "Me & you aregonna get trashed tonight," she says to me        every night. I ask my dad if Megan can movein, & he says, "twelve cats & two        dogs are enough." In Philomath, I'd be lyingif I said people don't get saved        every week at the Nazarene Church, whereMegan & I go to vacation        Bible school & sing about going "straightto heaven or down the hole," where the pastor slips        nylons over our faces & tells us to suckpudding from a bucket just to show how far we'll go        to be forgiven. We swallow it all because this is how you get close        to God in Philomath. When Megan's dad learnsshe's saved & he's not, he teaches her        a lesson about beingsorry & how God is not        watching Philomath. On Monday, Megan's eyescan hardly open, & our school        bans liquid paper & permanentmarkers & the word        "bomb," because they could cause usto die before our time. Megan spends        breaks in the bathroom, & I know notto follow her. I go to the library, where I check out        A Season in Hell because they don'thave Illuminations & never will, & I feel alone        around all the smart kids who raise uppigs to pay for college. They belong        to 4h & know how to sell livingmeat to the highest bidder. They get made        fun of by people like Megan & me& the boys who only wear camo & talk        about the beauty of a deerspitting up its life & most anybody        the teachers have given upon, which is nearly everyone. I care about        Philomath and its "Loveof Learning" bumper stickers that turn        invisible under mud, its historicalsociety that hangs        quilts over the walls of Paul'sPlace (where loggers get Bottomless        Joe), that documents every haunting,every sighting of a ghost, & Megan is still        in the bathroom stall, learning what it meansto be in Philomath for good.