Alphabet Poem

A

The difference between my life and yoursis this: When I was pulled over once by a copfor running a stop sign, and beforehe got to my car I’d taken my phoneout of my purse to let my kid knowI’d be late coming home, what the cop didwas warn me not to be digging my handin my purse with a cop’s facein the driver’s window. The differencebetween my life and yoursis that I put the phoneback and sat looking out at the trafficwhile the cop wrote the ticket, and in the endI got home only twenty minuteslater than when I had promised.

B

Do you think I’m at peace with this?A woman I know and her dogsaw a man shot in the backby a cop at the end of the blockthey live on, and for no reason.They were walking and suddenly their blockbecame a warfield. Before that,she had thought of the day as simple.Before that, she had been planningjust to go home, take the leashoff the dog, make coffee,put on her yellow sweater.

C

Then the police were everywhere.Then it became a questionof what she had seenand how many times she could tell it.Then it was clear that her lifehad become this man, who was dead.

D

There were cameras and people cleaning the streetof his blood, which was everywhere.It didn’t seem possible that so much bloodcould have come from a single body.Even when the ambulance took him awayit seemed the blood kept flowing.It flowed from the stores, the doorways.It flowed from the hydrants that should have been filled with water.Even by afternoon, everyonewho set foot on that block had begun to bleed.

E

The difference between my life and yoursis that our bleeding is exactly the same.

F

All day the dog lay in the corner of the kitchen.Anything that passed with a loud noise,the dog, who had been a confident, placid dog,startled. Stood up and walked in circles. Growled.Went searching from room to roomfor his person, who was no longerthere, who had becomethat other person.

G

My kid didn’t really care that I came home late.She was watching her favorite program.She was sitting in front of the TVeating cold macaroni and cheesewith a spoon, and I yelled at herbecause if I had been you I might havebeen killed by the copfor trying to make that callon a phone the copmight have saidwas a weapon. And there she was,not even bothering to look up when I walked in the door,sitting in the armchair, legs folded under her,mac and cheese in a blue plastic cereal bowl,laughing at something one character said to another.

H

She didn’t know his name at first.He was just one more person shot in the back.The cops rifled through his pockets.It looked like they were even touching his dickbut he couldn’t feel it.She heard his name spoken later on the radio,found out that he had two kids and a mother.

I

She did what she could about the bleeding,used every bit of gauze and adhesive in the apartment,wondered whether she should goto the ER when it didn’t stop by lateafternoon, but howcould she go when they had himalready listed as DOAand they wouldn’t understandthat she was him now, and in need of help?

J

It wasn’t just her. It was everyone on the block.At night, when people began to turn on their lampsand she could see through their windows, she realizedthat everyone was bandaging themselvesor bandaging others they lived with.And those already swaddled in bandages were mopping up blood.

K

The difference between my life and yoursis that, even though I reached for my phone,I still went to...