Sacrifice

—after Stephen Dunn’s “The Imagined”

If the remembered faith makes the lack of faithseem lackluster, without imaginationor grace or gorgeous excess, and if youcome to realize the remembered faithcan only satisfy the remembered self, whereasyour current state with all its limitations can,if not console, at least make you feel you’ve faced downyour truth, then how, in spite of knowing that,does the remembered faith keep getting into your head,joining your dinner conversation, accompanying youon vacations to cathedrals of stained glass and incense,to the ocean’s surge and hallelujah.            And if the lack of faithcan only exist for you because of former faith,the two in lockstep, not a death grip, buthand in hand at every moment, whisperingendearments to each other with the verve of lovers,or else the check/checkmate of chess masters,do you begin to suspect that the two existfor each other?            Isn’t their tug of war, finally,the fugue of love? And your longing for hymn and amen,necessary? Hasn’t the time come, finally, to not pretendthe stone warm when you lie down on the chosen altar?