Dialogue Dimensions, Directions, and Degrees

I. Presuppositions¹

Dialogue is at the very heart of the universe, of which we humans are the highest expression: from the macro level (the interaction of matter and energy) to the micro level (the interaction of protons and electrons in every atom) to the human level (the symbiosis of body and spirit in every human) to the interpersonal level (the dialogue between woman and man) to the communal level (the “person-creating” relationship between individual and community). Thus, the very essence of the entire universe, peaking in our humanity, is dialogical. Therefore, a fulfilled, dialogic human life is the highest expression of the “Cosmic Dance of Dialogue.”

II. Dialogue Dimensions

There are four major dialogue dimensions: dialogue of the head, hands, heart, and holy. In the dialogue of the head, we together seek the truth. In the dialogue of the hands, we together seek the good, that is, to heal the world around us—tikkun olam. In the dialogue of the heart, we experience and embrace others in their expressions of beauty—in art, architecture, music, poetry, dance, etc. Finally, in the dialogue of the holy, we share each other’s interior spirituality in our striving for integrated wholeness—Greek holos, whence our English “holy.”

III. Dialogue Directions

The natural direction of the newborn is to reach from Ego, Self, to the “Other,” to move outward in order to draw inward, to bring the mother’s breast to mouth. The infant naturally reaches out for the good to draw it to its self, its ego. As the infant learns to recognize other egos—mother, father, siblings, friends, neighbors—a natural expansive energy comes into play, expanding its ego to include ever more alter (Latin, “other”) egos. At the same time a restrictive energy arises to keep the maturing ego safe from destructive forces. As the infant grows, the danger grows, from painful experiences and/or distorted information that will lead to seeing the ever-increasing number of egos less as potential alter egos, but more as other, alien. Good parents and communities foster the continuous expansion of the ego to embrace the ever-increasing number of alter egos, while encouraging the restrictive energy needed—but no more—for wellbeing.

The right balance between the expansive and restrictive energies is not always obvious. It is the responsibility of the family and community to discern and teach this balance. Some, or many, may be faulty, and hence misleading, but even the best can be mistaken at times, so that imbalances result. However, a healthy child, family, and community make these experiences into means of learning the right more surely in the future. Thus, the child will grow to maturity, to adulthood, having formed for her or himself in dialogue a confidently balanced dialogic self-understanding, and corresponding pattern of behavior.

Growth and expansion do not cease, however, with adulthood. The person can now with greater surety launch out into the deep in search of the ultimate goal of wholeness, holiness. Millennia ago Confucius pointed out the path, the Way (Dao): “At fifteen my heart was set on learning; at thirty I stood firm; at forty I had no more doubts; at fifty I knew the mandate of heaven; at sixty my ear was obedient; at seventy I could follow my heart’s desire without transgressing the norm.”² St. Augustine compressed the process even more: “Ama, et fac quod vis!” (Love, and do what you will!) More modern spiritual/theological writers, following St. John of the Cross and St. Theresa of Avila, have laid out a triad of development: the purgative way, the illuminative way, and the unitive way—ultimately to embrace the Transcendent,³ however understood.

IV. Dialogue Degrees

As this maturing dialogic balance is reached, the person begins to notice that others have also attained this balance—but on a different set of principles and assumptions. A healthy curiosity arises, and the person wishes to know how that is possible. Then there begins a new adventure in life. The Degrees of Dialogue through which one passes on one’s way to wholeness/holiness are described in...