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  • “Sweets of Sin”
  • Chris Ackerley
  1. 1. Telemachus

    Buck Mulligan, golden-mouthed priest,

    Thrice blesses the waters beneath.

        Stephen, observing,

        Fears he is serving The Pope and a hag with bad teeth.

  2. 2. Nestor

    In the shell of his study old Deasy,

    His foot in his mouth and he’s wheezy,

        But his confident views

        Re the absence of Jews

    Makes the nightmare of history more queasy.

  3. 3. Proteus

    On Sandymount Strand the sea surges

    To mock ineluctable urges.

        Our maestro di color

        More virgin than whore

    Seems destined to dight dismal dirges.

  4. 4. Calypso

    Mr Bloom in his kitchen is toiling;

    On the hob his squat kettle is boilin’.

        Then a shiver of gloom:

        “Mrs Marion Bloom.”

    The cave of the Nymph is enthralling.

  5. 5. Lotus Eaters

    That sensitive plant, Henry Flower,

    Doffs his (so warm) high-grade ha.

        Bantam Lyons—go away

        “You can keep … throwaway.”

    It would only go limp in the spa. [End Page 173]

  6. 6. Hades

    Dignam, poor Parnell, not Lazarus—let’s see:

    “As you are now//so once were we.”

        That grandfather rat,

        Obese, grey and fat,

    He’ll get all the others but he won’t …

  7. 7. Aeolus

        PARADOS (sung on first entrance)

    Ulysses to Ithaca’s shore almost comes,

        PERIPETEIA (reversal of circumstance)

    Moses to Pisgah’s far vision succumbs.

        STICHOMYTHIA (alternating half-lines)

        Bloom sails by

        As Kinch in full cry

        EPIPHANEIA (manifestation of a deity to a mortal)

    A parable tells about plums.

  8. 8. Lestrygonians

    The somethings of the right reverent McTrigger

    Were consumed by a light loyal Afro-American.

        His five hundred ducks

        Then queued up for pieces of bread.

    They grew bigger and bigger and bigger.

  9. 9. Scylla and Charybdis

    Malachi, censorious, sternly reproves

    A sheeny’s fixation on mesial grooves.

        ‘Tis Stephen offended,

        Black panther forfended:

    From Limbo the ghost of the father approves.

  10. 10. Wandering Rocks

    Proud Ruby, Fair Tyrants, and Venus in Furs,

    The Awful Disclosures of stale whore-d’oeuvres,

        ‘Twould tempt the Archbishop

        The way that they dish up

    Heaving embonpoint and opulent curves. [End Page 174]

  11. 11. Sirens

    ‘Tis the last rose of summer, Bloom listens, unseen;

    But all now is lost, jingle jaunty obscene.

        That form once endearing

        No longer appearing:

    In a bell on a bread bier one laaaa………aast sardine. (one lost one lonely of summer)

  12. 12. Cyclops

    In the cavern of Barney’s dark bar

    The Citizen [a myopic broadshouldered hero; at putting the shot, the champion of Eire; his hair’s like tough gorse, his language is coarse, but his brain it is stuck at ground zero] sits with his jar [wine of the country, Innisfail the Fair—acushla macree, what’s Bloom doing there?],

        Like other goyim [Ireland his nation—now, please]

        The Jewmen annoy ‘im [filling the country with fleas], But Bloom [a hundred to five—it’s a secret, d’ya hear] takes the biscuit [Jacob’s Vobiscum—he’s after throwin’ it, after him boy, the jarvey’s a-goin’ it—by the sweet Very God, would ya look at that hairy dog. Ben Bloom Elijah, Gob, who would be knowin’ it?] by far.

  13. 13. Nausicaa

    Strophe Antistrophe
    In frillies of nainsook (so new) Must be what d’you call Virgin blues
    Fair Gerty reclines for the view The rockets go up: Ohs! and Oohs!
        She senses     It’s tricky,
        Her menses     So sticky,
    Her lover is steadfast and true. Wee Tommy has wet his tan shoes.
  14. 14. Oxen of the Sun

    Deshil Holles Eamus – Ovoidology in Bullscrit awash? Age of the birth of the Word, or a usyless Watt-like poss? Age of the “blue book of Eccles” – then why all the Goon Show heckles? Enter Bluebottle … waits … applause … not a sausage. [End Page 175]

  15. 15. Circe

    Wildgoose chase, foul houses, old mutton,

    Here Bella’s mucksweat souses each glutton.

        Odysseus by moly

        Resists porcine folly.

    Exeunt: saved by Bloom’s trousers’ back button.

  16. 16. Eumaeus

    D. B. Murphy’s a double, you see,

    Spouting bilge in the W. C.

        Pseudoangelicose,

        Uncultured and bellicose—

    The Yeats touch is W. B.

  17. 17. Ithaca

    Epp’s massproduct, mine host’s creature cocoa,

    Theobromic, Hypostatic, Consubstantial, Filioqual?

        Let communicants thwack...

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