Sports Analogy

Even if there is noI in team,        there is        damn sure a        me        that never fails

            to get        lost in a        relationship,

a me, that sees love, as Willie Stargell saw baseball,    a game where they give you a round batand throw you a round ball        and tell you to hit it square.

Which means love Lawrence Taylorsme, breaking me like Theisman’s leg,playing    chin music with each kiss,    submitting me with a    guillotine    she calls hugs, and each conversationis a red flag the booth is reviewing. Shit.    When I drop back into a relationship,Anderson Silva cringes. Allen Iverson once scoffed, practice?        in an interview that convinced fans

he was selfish, but I only saw a frustratedhusband, exasperated from driving aroundwith his wife,

trying, no begging,    to decide on where to eat.        If you have a little capital

I suggest you open a restaurant called        “No Babe, You Decide.”

And I would be grateful for a relationshipfull of great pro tips, some good coaching, and decent    execution, even if there were no Playoffs or    payoffs,

        that pointed me at awall, yelled for me to run through it,    and actually meant it.

    That’s why we join teams.