The V-Word: True Stories about First-Time Sex ed. by Amber J. Keyser (review)

These seventeen memoirs about first-time sex reveal all: the desire, the emotions, the physical sensations, the disappointments, and, for a few, the ecstasy of doing with someone else what most of these teen girls, now women writers (ranging from YA authors to Scarleteen contributors to adult writers), had been doing with themselves for quite some time. There’s an expansive, questioning approach to what actually counts as a first time and a balance between heterosexual and queer sex, including one transgendered person. Most of the accounts here are written with sensitivity and style and sometimes considerable sensuality, and there is a strong emphasis on personal agency; even when the sex turned out to be a dubious choice, it was still owned as a choice, with only one story hinting at past abuse that is actually healed to some degree by a sensitive guy who wants more than just sex. Interstitial editorial paragraphs quilt the stories together, and the material contained in the back matter goes even further in addressing how girls can approach their developing sexuality with knowledge and purpose. A wealth of resources is provided throughout, and an interview with a librarian showcases YA titles that are either admirably sex-positive or unflinchingly honest in their portrayal of sexual violence and its consequences. A brief reassurance for parents is also included, although it’s debatable whether it will fully reassure parents who would object to this sort of book in the first place. Nonetheless, Keyser writes like your best girlfriend about things that even your best girlfriend might shy away from; readers will find solid, nonjudgmental, sex-positive answers to questions they may not even know how to ask.