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  • Now, Let’s Consider This Case
  • Onyinye Ihezukwu (bio)

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And so they meet for drinks at the open court in the shopping plaza, something that happens quite often as they are wives with no jobs (depending on how you look at it) or wives with jobs (also depending on how you look at it), in the sense that the usual definition of “job” is work that a) comes with a dress code, b) is defined by a time range, and c) is rewarded with a specified amount of money, which you must consider carefully now, for though these women’s duties did not come with any, not dress code, not time range, nor salaries, they were always busy, the explanation being that to them, husband and children were more than all of the above, and chores like washing up after meals, helping out with homework, presenting chests to receive vomit and sick heads and so on, were the ultimate fulfillment of their presence here on Earth, because Almighty God said through Apostle Paul who was under the influence of the Holy Spirit, that the woman is the weaker vessel, to be under her husband, to call him “Lord,” and this because he is an earthly representative for Jesus the ascended Lord of Lords, so said Apostle Paul, so said the law of the Almighty, which made all things okay, so okay in fact, that when their earthly Lords decreed that the women leave the work of family provision to them alone, these women were exceedingly glad, for how else could a man show he loved his family except by taking command, showing the way, and even devising spousal duties, yes, these Lords devised some statutory job functions for their wives, or maybe the functions were an outgrowth of sheer necessity, and they were things like a) auditioning a house girl [End Page 162] for the post of housecleaning, diaper changing, or impromptu shopping for food items, b) contracting a mechanic to fix the broken car, c) all other things in line with a) and b) that have not been mentioned, to which these women said “yes darling” and laid aside their university certificates, “yes darling” and sacrificed themselves on altars of what they perceived to be a higher calling, “yes darling” because the world said so, and this world included their mothers in the village who thought it a good idea, that it was best for a woman to focus on raising a family, things were getting worse these days they said, civilization was ruining moral values, children were getting molested by the hour, were being taught all sorts of horrible things by peers, things so filthy that what these little ones knew about sex their parents could not even imagine, “a ha, a ha, watch your children’s souls,” the mothers in the village said, “for this is more noble, love your earthly Lord in the name of Jesus and don’t let your society down, don’t let your society down,” thus the wise mothers had spoken, thus the Almighty through Apostle Paul had spoken, and this sealed everything about everything, making the equation of the world as ordained by destiny balanced.

Their meetings, which may be called the meetings of the “Association of Jobful Women at the Shopping Plaza,” are never planned, but then, maybe the women prefer to think of them as not planned, which, truly, if you were to observe closely, may not be planned, because they coincidentally bump into themselves here and there, weaving in and out of shops that deal in kiddies’ clothes and toys, hair extensions, men’s shoes, women’s lingerie (this “lingerie” means tummy shorts tough enough to keep fat spools on a firm leash, the sinful lacy stuff they frown at), and etcetera etcetera, so, yes, that’s the way it is, this weaving in and out of various shops by the women, as they hold on to shopping lists, long long lists compiled at the end of the month when Lord Darling has dispensed the financial quota for food and other expenses for general household upkeep, for which...


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pp. 162-166
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