Mom,Just 17 laying in a hospital bedCradling meWhat kind of man did you hope I would be?
Creating illusionsplanspresumptionsYour premeditated predictionsdream and fantasize the man wanted out of meI'm seventeen years oldtrying to figure out what "man" means.Society got me twisteddeadbeats to heartthrobsdrug dealers and political leadersoverlyfamous sports men to businessmen in suits
Mom,What kind of stereotype of a man did you want me to be?
I never thought you'd want me to beimmoraluselessphilanderingA man using sugar coated kissestreating women like bitchesSquandering for cash in empty pocketsPockets emptyChecks flying awayLike my dignitySupporting unforgiving ex-wivesfatherlesschildrenSuspected you wanted aladies manout of me
I believed dad was the perfect manI could beOwning mistakeslike pastors own beliefsTaking responsibilitiesinstead of taking risks [End Page 93] Giving up teenage yearslike alcoholics give up liquorIs that the kind of man you expect me to be?Mom,I can't beI'm not the type to raise a family at 17.
Image your first borna homo.Fathoming that your son would kiss boysplay with girl toystrade inpregnancies for adoption agenciesfightingfor the right of equal marriage opportunitiesWas that ever the kind of man you dreamt I would be?Overhearingyou fear what life is going to beunaccepting school kidswho use cruel games,gain power over sexual minorities.If ever being put down as a fagqueerhomosexual beingI would have the strengthto stand on my own two feetkeep my composurebecause motherly arms taught me how to do so.Isn't that the kind of man you wanted me to be.
MomHow do you even define a man?
Dictionaries say"Man" an adult who has oppositecharacteristics of a womanDefinition two said"generic use of the word referring to human beings"example: "it is every man for himself"Suggested that a male person has to "play significant role in the life(as in a husband or a boyfriend or a lover)of a particular--woman."
Not needing shallow Webster's or dictionaries with hollow meaningsTelling me what a man is [End Page 94] Mother taught me how to respectnot only womenbut human beings
If definition of "man" is malewho loves a humanYes momI am a man
I love you dearly. [End Page 95]