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This paper critiques the modern cult of sincerity, suggesting that selves cannot be selves except in relationships which are constituted by ritualized behaviors fundamentally at odds with the demands of the self. Such ritual acts, are, I maintain, crucial to the existence of the relational self. Rituals create that subjunctive space, a shared "could be" where such selves can exist—in relation with other selves. Thus, rather than discuss religious or secular selves, per se, I address them obliquely through inquiry into how a ritual—and by contrast, a sincere self may be thought to orient herself to the world.