我緊緊抱你的時候這世界好多人餓死我緊緊抱你的時候這世界好多人餓死我緊緊抱你的時候這世界好多人發生意外，死了我緊緊抱你的時候這世界好多人自己幫助自己死去，環抱自己的手一下子 放鬆我不抱世界這麼多沒有呼吸了的人我抱你就抱著感覺窒息在我緊緊也被你緊緊地抱住這時候這麼多人感覺不到我們瀕臨真空拔高的愛情的顫抖潮浪越過了石堆那麼多現在不動聲色被搬動的石頭下一刻愛能不能下一刻更多不動被搬動的石頭沒有答案不要有我知道我們能不能再互相緊緊抱著是我不知道的或者在某個人停下來想下一個字一顆炮彈在空中優美地畫過一滴水飽滿地騰越潛水艇安安靜靜地雷乖巧掃乾淨的地灰塵爭相落下草籽兒精神好綠你也感覺到了嗎在你緊緊抱我的時候好多人死了 [End Page 82] 你緊緊抱我的時候好多人精神錯亂走過熄滅篝火旁歪歪倒倒營帳深深淺淺 石堆好多人流星飛過我們接著吻的窗臺你聽得到窗外的鳥蟬那麼多比石器時代更久遠的石頭？
有一刻我懷疑她們全死了。沒有「倖存者」「Survivor」我甚至懷疑「倖存者」根本是翻譯來的，一場外來雨落進乾燥多隙縫的土地這兒沒這個用法也不需要這個詞：我們的人太多太多就是說沒什麼特別的不幸滄海桑田，全球暖化，命運，出生地，外來物種，XYZ廚房，餐廳，後院宗教，文化，倫理別人的房間自己的房間蒙面俠強姦犯小偷駭客沒錯有些人看起來像通過困難的地形有些人聽起來像經歷奇妙的地理區域有些人感覺起來有如穿越了時間但在這一刻我打下這些字的時間你讀到這些字的時間她們活著嗎全部？某些？少數？半個？ [End Page 84] 沒有？她們如何逃過劫數那一次和後來的幾次還有未來一直一直來……不只一刻我懷疑但她們繼續像死去的星星穿透天空和時間還是那麼亮那麼動人還是引發了波瀾和災難某種不朽垃圾詩和歌 [End Page 86]
So Many People Die While I'm Hugging You Tightly
so many people starve to death while I'm hugging you tightlyso many people war to death while I'm hugging you tightlyso many people have accidents, die while I'm hugging you tightlyso many people help themselves to death, hands that encircle them suddenly relax, while I'm hugging you tightlyI don't hug so many people who don't breathe I hug you like suffocation I tightly hug tightly hugged by you while so many people can't feelusthe shudder of love at a height close to a vacuumtidesover rocksso many rocks that are nowmoved in silencein the next momentlovecan't evenstay more immobilein the next momentrocks that are movedhave no answernoyesI know can't we hug each other tightly I don't knowor a person who stops to think about a worda bomb beautifully tracing a line in the skya drop of water heartily soaring oversubmarines stay quietland mines stay obedientdust competes to fall on the cleanly swept floorgrass seeds in such green spirits [End Page 83] can you also feel it so many people die while I'm hugging you tightlywhile you're hugging me tightly so many people go crazy walk through smothered bonfire swaying tents deep and shallow stacks of rocksso many shooting stars fly past the windowsill we've kissedcan you hear the birds outsidecicadasso many rocksmore ancient than those from the Stone Age?
for a moment I doubt if they are all deadno xingcunzhesurvivorI even doubt if xingcunzhe is actually a translation, a foreign rainfalling into the parched cracked landwe don't need such usageor this noun here:there are too many of ustoo manywhich means no particular misfortunethe world changes with time, global warming, destiny, place of birth, foreign species, XYZkitchen, canteen, courtyardreligion, culture, ethicsrooms of othersa room of one's ownmasked swordsmanrapistthiefhackerindeed some people seem as if they're passing through a difficult topographysome people sound as if they've experienced a marvelous geographical regionsome people feel likepenetrating timebut at this momentwhen I'm typing these wordswhen you're reading these wordsare theyaliveall? [End Page 85] some?half?none?how did they scrape throughthat one time and the next few timesand in the futureuntil until . . .for more than a moment I doubtbut they continuelike dead starspenetrating sky and timestill so brightso movingstill initiating waves and disastersa certain longevityrubbishpoetry and song [End Page 87]
Amang 阿芒 (1964-) was born and raised in Hualien County, on the east coast of Taiwan. She is the author of two volumes of verse, On/Off: Selected Poems of Amang, 1995-2002 (2003), and No Daddy (2008). Her poetry has been published in several Taiwanese journals, including Poetry Now and Off the Roll: Poetry+. She works as an English teacher in Taipei and is a student of video documentation.
Fiona Sze-Lorrain (1980-) was born in Singapore and educated at Columbia University, New York University, and Paris IV-Sorbonne, where she received a doctorate in French. She writes and translates in English, French, and Chinese. Her first collection of poetry, Water the Moon, was published in 2010. She is an editor at Cerise Press and Vif Éditions. Also a zheng concertist, she lives in Paris, France.