Children Born Into Loss: Some Developmental Consequences of Homelessness

How can one lose what one never had? It is a paradox. Winnicott appealed to his readers to be comfortable with paradox, to refrain from developing stagnant solutions. He asks us to tolerate and accept the unsolvable. Can a child be born into loss? It may be argued that an infant may be born into profound deprivation but that this is not a loss felt or experienced by the infant. It may also be argued that if the infant experiences loss it is not her own loss she feels but the unresolved losses of her mother, and her mother's mother before her. I will argue that many children do experience personal loss at birth or within hours after birth. These children are born onto the streets of our inner cities. Their cribs are broken down strollers. They may find refuge in an over-crowded rundown apartment one night, and the next night their shelter is a doorway hidden in an alley; the following night home is an abandoned car. From the beginning of life these babies encounter an unbearable cycle of nowhere to go, no place to call home, no safe sanctuary, only the feeling of "falling forever" (Winnicott 86).

The infants to whom I am referring are rarely held. Their mothers' gaze looks outward, searching for a place to sleep for the night and concentrating on finding their next meal. These mothers avoid looking into their infants' eyes because they will see only a reflection of their own inadequacy. These mothers are unable to gaze upon their newborns because they were invisible to their own mothers and that reminder is intolerable. Women in this position must protect themselves from re-experiencing excruciating pain.

The babies of whom I am speaking are born into a void. There is no physical structure to provide a stimulus barrier and the mother is unable to perform this function for her child. The whole environment is over-stimulating. There is no predictability of food, no protection from temperature, whether too hot or too cold. The infant's immature, fragile ego is easily flooded. She is overcome and burdened by hunger, temperature, sexual excitation and aggression. There are no encircling, protecting arms of the mother, only the harsh realities of a cruel and unfriendly world. What effect does such devastating loss have on the developing ego? How does this child experience her world? How does she thrive and develop? For forty weeks the human fetus is nurtured in the perfect environment. The mother's womb provides the stimulus barrier needed to protect the vulnerable fetus. Her mother's voice and heartbeat soothe her. She is enveloped by amniotic fluid that provides warmth and protection for her sensitive skin. Her mother's movements gently rocks her. The placenta provides all the nutrients that are needed for optimum growth. But this baby is born homeless, her mother is emotionally absent... as if dead. The infant instinctually knows what she needs and attempts to get her needs met. But she fails and so it begins...a baby is born into loss.

Conceptual Overview

I find it helpful to view development in terms of "the degree to which each phase brings with it age-adequate differentiation of psychic structure (id, ego, and superego) as well as self-and object relatedness" (Parens 320). The infant's ego development is contingent on the parents' response to the neonate's complete dependence. The newborn's "ego is only able to master and integrate the drives insofar as the mother is able to perceive and implement his rudimentary needs and intentions" (Fonagy 84). The strength of the ego at this stage of development is directly determined by the reflective capacity of the primary caregiver (Winnicott). When there is not "good-enough" mothering, drive differentiation will be interfered with and age-appropriate ego functions will be unable to develop properly. [End Page...