First Days: August, and: Advice from the Predecessor’s Wife, and: The Explosive Expert’s Wife, and: Test
Rent from DeepDyve- First Days: August, and: Advice from the Predecessor’s Wife, and: The Explosive Expert’s Wife, and: Test
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- First Days: August
Black irises are vanishing like the wild lions of Iraq that trampled the reeds to drink among the narrow-waisted
grasses. Black irises are disappearing; across Karak the desert larks have fled. Not even the olive trees breathe
green, and dust thirsts for the wall- walkers’ spit. Day by day, the forecast bends our foreheads to the ground:
like firelight on a woman’s half-turned face, the sun bears down and down. All the city’s blown
a fuse—or so it seems. My mother calls again, worried by what she’s seen on the nightly news: drought and more
drought, tensions rippling across the Middle East. A month or two elapses, more the same: salt
gathering in the damp black sleeves of women harvesting fields of salt; sand clinging to bits of sand
on sand-colored buildings, coating roofs the color of chewed bread. Nights stalled at the screen, I strain
to hear the call to prayer— what is it Amman’s abandoned streets are trying to say? The skyline’s coal. [End Page 56]
The sun’s half coming up. How quickly it licks each shadow—fence’s crest, branches of grapes, the patio chair,
even me—into place. The adhan begins again. The temperature’s rising, my throat’s too dry to speak. [End Page 57]
- Advice from the Predecessor’s Wife
Learn Arabic—your husband won’t have time. At Carrefour Express, aisle one is the tax-free line. For poultry, go to Sweifieh (the Palestinian chicken man’s shop); pig, on the other hand, is impossible to find (frozen pork sometimes turns up at the co-op). Basha________’s wife is pregnant with twins; expect to host a spa date or two for his mistress. Never make eye contact with local men. Read Marriedto a Bedouin, the Expert Expat’s Guide. (Skip Queen Noor’s book—she’s from the Midwest.) During Ramadan Crumbs’ breakfast is the best; everything else is closed. Never ride in the front of a taxi with an Arab. If you’re near the Embassy, avoid hailing a cab (security says we’re sitting ducks). Help in Amman runs cheap: hire a driver, a maid, a cook. Mansef is made with lamb or goat, and stewed in a hearty jameed. When dining with royalty, keep conversation neutral. At private parties be prepared to be the only woman in the room, save the staff. Look the part, but don’t show cleavage. Lipstick is fine. Laugh hard (but not too hard) at Colonel________’s dick jokes. Know how to properly cut and light a cigar. When talk turns to politics, smile and nod, then say something obscure in Arabic—your husband will give you the cue (the Jords will think it cute). Never ask a woman how long her hair is under the hijab. Don’t call anyone but your husband habibi. Explore the souks; steer clear of the mosques. All Arabs hate dogs— walk yours after dark; comb your yard for poison and traps. Close your drapes [End Page 58] (Western women are common victims of peeping toms). When moving among crowds, expect children and strangers to stop to stroke your hair. Always carry your passport. The number-one reason a man’s relieved from his post? His wife’s unhappy. Avoid this from the get-go—get a hobby! Play tennis, take a class, or find a job. (The field’s leveled for spouses: here, education and experience equal nada.) The work week runs Sunday to Thursday; your husband will clock in Saturdays, Fridays, too. Pack at least four ball gowns; stock up on shirts with sleeves. Gunfire means graduation, or congratulations—a wedding’s just taken place. Don’t be disturbed by the armed guards outside your apartment (their assault rifles don’t have bullets, rumor has it). “Little America” runs perpendicular to Ring Six (a.k.a. Cholesterol Circle)—Popeyes,Burger King, Hardee’s—you’ll...
