Easier

under the bridge were railroad yardswarehouses soot-blackened factoriesmonstrous piles of salt& coal beneath roped tarps & bald tiressmokestacksjunkyardsmore factories & the river& smack besidethe river on my right if I'd walk home on the bridgewas what older kids said wasa slaughterhouse but I'd never see

any cows"just smell" these older kids would say & I'd shrug

"see that wooden ramp they walk up?" they'd say "there'scow shit on it!" & I'd say "that shit's yours" & they'dsay "be serious! cows walk up that ramp! & they can'tsee inside becauseof the dark so they fall the 3 stories & breaktheir necks so it's easier for the workersto slice them open!"

"but has anyone here" I'd ask "seenone freaking cow?"

finally oneday after school the oldest of us said he was downunder the bridge in the middle

of the night & hesaw cows lined up on the ramp like usafter recess & his best friend calledthat a lie because why would he have beenthere at night? & the oldest kid

swallowed & said hisdad tookhim there because smallmouths were running & his dadknew under the bridge was good since no onefished there since the biggest smallmouthsran at night & no one liked fishing nearthe screams of dying cows

for a good minute then noneof us talked not even to ask howthe screams sounded

it being easier

I thought

to forget the screams

believe what I could

& sleep while smallmouths ranfrom under the bridge to as farfrom us as they wanted