The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World (review)

Who knew that world domination was just ten short steps away? Of course, some of these steps involve rather hefty to-do lists, including but not limited to stopping time by eating plate after plate of Brussels sprouts, creating flesh-eating kittens and subsequently cloning them, and choosing between purple and green (or maybe both!) as your signature villainous color. Nesbitt lays out the path to ultimate despotism in ten accessible chapters ideal for that tiny tyrant on the go. Unfortunately, most of the jokes are one-liners and often of the bathroom variety, and while booty and doo-doo jokes have their place, the repetition here causes the humor to simply peter out. Similarly, Long’s spot illustrations featuring a bugeyed, pouty everyvillain are pretty generic, failing to add much to the proceedings. There are, however, some glimpses of cleverness: the chapter devoted to dealing with secret agents takes a few sly shots at the tropes of the spy genre while the final chapter instructing readers on how exactly to rule the world (e.g., making up new holidays, changing the laws, etc) will leave many youngsters dreaming about their own turns at world leadership. Lieb’s I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President (BCCB 12/09) and Walden’s Higher Institute of Villainous Education series (BCCB 7/07, etc.) offer much more substantive takes on the nature of mischievous depravity, but mini-overlords in a rush to rule the world may find this guide useful enough.