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Têtu 65 Randeane Têtu The Map "It's a map they sent us," Julie said. "If the power plant explodes, but it's not going to, we'll go to. . ." "I'm not going." "Mother, if it does, you'll have to. They won't let you stay here." "Look at that sun on the lawn. Does it look as though the power plant will explode? Really." To Julie, the sun on the lawn was dangerous — the poison in the apple. The deadly sweet. She said, "It would be a day exactly like this." "Then I surely would not go," her mother said. "I would sit in this chair with my knitting on my lap—you make sure I can reach my knitting, that's all I ask—and I'll sit here and let radiation creep around me—through me. I don't mind. I hope it's quick." "But if it's quick, how will I get away fast enough and leave you with your knitting?" "Oh. Well, I meant quick after you leave, of course. I meant quick so I won't be sitting in the dark waiting for it, imagining things." "Mother, what worse could you imagine, for God's sake, than sitting in your chair waiting for the radiation?" "Worse? I could imagine you stuck on the road in all the traffic or out of gas and no one to help you and everyone out for himself. Traffic jams on all the bridges. You said they're working on them all—down to one lane every highway. Afraid. Everyone afraid they won't make it and others will. You see how people act even on the one-lanes, pushing ahead of others. Can you imagine an emergency? What do I imagine worse? I can imagine when you get there, you and everybody else sitting inside closed houses watching for the winds to push radiation through the windows. You be sure to open these windows before you leave, do you hear me?" "The windows, yes," Julie said. "And how about me? I feel terrible for leaving you, honey." "Nothing to do about that. Can't go back. What would you find and you'd be dead doing it. Find what the men in suits with geiger counters will find. Old woman sitting in chair in front of window. Morning has come again or perhaps several mornings have come—with knitting in her lap, a sweater—almost done. That's it, honey. You can't finish with life." 66 the minnesota review "But what if—Mother, you've got the windows open—what if something else gets in before the men with suits? And if wild dogs—the ones that run after deer back there? or people—wild people. What if wild people get in? A man?" "Are you saying to me that with radiation creeping across the sunlight on the lawn, filling all the spaces between the maple leaves as it comes, slicking the tar on the road and greasing the window ledges, I should be worried about ... I see. You mean tear me apart before it gets here or after?" "Well, I was thinking before, but it could be after just as well. You sure everything that's going to be dead around here is going to be dead at the same time?" "We could move, you know," her mother said. "Move to Montana." "Mother, they have buried missile sites in Montana. You wouldn't want to live next to a buried missile site. Anyway, what would I do for work in Montana?" "Maybe get a job at a buried missile site. Oh, never mind. I was only joking." Julie said, "Would you like your tea? I'm going to have mine." "Yes, please, and close the window here before you go." But Julie didn't go out to turn on the kettle. "I won't leave you, Mother. I'll carry you to the car, you know. I can do it— if I have to knock you out." "Thank you, dear. Yes, that will be best. Does the car have gas in it? Do you always keep it full?" "I always keep...

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