Ode to the North and South

Ode to the North and South 0 Jonathan and Jefferson, Come, listen to my song; 1 can't decide, my word upon, Which of you is most wrong. I do declare I am afraid To say which worse behaves, The North, imposing bonds on Trade, Or South, that Man enslaves. And here you are about to fight, And wage intestine war, Not either of you in the right; What simpletons you arel Too late your madness you will see, And when your passion cools, "Snakes!" you will bellow; "how could we Have been such 'tarnal fools!" One thing is certain; that if you Blow out each other's brains, 'Twill be apparent what a few Each blockhead's skull contains. You'll have just nothing for your cost, To show, when all is done. Greatness and glory you'll have lost And not a dollar won. Oh, joined to us by blood, and by The bond of kindred speech, And further, by the special tie Of slang, bound each to each, All-fired gonies, soft-horn'd pair, Each other will you lick? You everlastin' dolts, forbear! Throw down your arms right slick! You'll chaw each other up, you two, Like those Kilkenny cats, When they had better things to do, Improvin' off the rats. Now come, shake hands, together jog On friendly yet once more; Whip one another not; and flog Creation, as before! —London Punch 160 ...