The Solitary Twin

THE SOLITARY TWIN/Wally Lamb ONE SATURDAY morning when my brother and I were ten, our family television set spontaneously combusted. Thomas and I had spent most of that morning lolling around in our pajamas, watching cartoons and ignoring our mother's orders to go upstairs, take our baths, and put on our dungarees. We were supposed to help her outside with the window-washing. Whenever Ray gave an order, my brother and I snapped to attention, but our stepfather was duck hunting that weekend with his friend, Eddie Banas. Obeying Ma was optional. She was outside looking in when it happened—standing in the geranium bed on a stool so she could reach the parlor windows. Her hair was in pin curls. Her coat pockets were stuffed with paper towels. As she Windexed and wiped the glass, her circular strokes gave the illusion that she was waving in at us. "We better get out there and help," Thomas said. "What if she tells Ray?" "She won't tell," I said. "She never tells." It was true. However angry we could make our mother, she would never have fed us to the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room, rose to his alarm clock at 3:30 each afternoon, and built submarines at night. Electric Boat, third shift. At our house, you tiptoed and whispered during the day and became free each evening at 9:30, when Eddie Banas, Ray's fellow third-shifter, pulled into the driveway and honked. I would wait for the sound of that horn. Hunger for it. With it came a loosening of limbs, a relaxation in the chest and hands, the ability to breathe deeply again. Some nights, my brother and I celebrated the slamming of Eddie's truck door by jumping in the dark on our mattresses. Freedom from Ray turned our beds into trampolines. "Hey, look," Thomas said, staring with puzzlement at the television. "What?" Then I saw it, too: a thin curl of smoke rising from the back of the set. The Howdy Doody Show was on, I remember: CIarabel the Clown chasing someone with his seltzer bottle. The picture and sound went dead. Flames whooshed up the parlor wall. I thought the Russians had done it—that Khrushchev had dropped the bomb at last. If the unthinkable ever happened, Ray had lectured us at the dinner table, the submarine base and Electric Boat were The Missouri Review . 7 guaranteed targets. We'd feel the jolt nine miles up the road in Three Rivers. Fires would ignite everywhere. Then the worst of it: the meltdown . People's hands and legs and faces would melt like cheese. "Duck and cover!" I yelled to my brother. Thomas and I fell to the floor in the protective position the civil defense lady had made us practice at school. There was an explosion over by the television, a confusion of thick black smoke. The room rained glass. The noise and smoke brought Ma, screaming, inside. Her shoes crunched glass as she ran toward us. She picked up Thomas in her arms and told me to climb onto her back. "We can't go outside!" I shouted. "Fallout!" "It's not the bomb!" she shouted back. "It's the TV!" Outside, Ma ordered Thomas and me to run across the street and tell the Anthonys to call the fire department. While Mr. Anthony made the call, Mrs. Anthony brushed glass bits off the tops of our crewcuts with her whiskbroom. We spat soot-flecked phlegm. By the time we returned to the front sidewalk, Ma was missing. "Where's your mother?" Mr. Anthony shouted. "She didn't go back in there, did she? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" Thomas began to cry. Then Mrs. Anthony and I were crying, too. "Hurry up!" my brother shrieked to the distant sound of the fire siren. Through the parlor windows, I could see the flames shrivel our lace curtains. A minute or so later, Ma emerged from the burning house, sobbing, clutching something against her chest. One of her pockets was ablaze from the paper towels; her coat was smoking. Mr. Anthony yanked...