Letter to the Editor

LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Sir: As the editor of a prestigious journal, you must be concerned with the state of the English language. I draw your attention to a new danger afflicting our English tongue: I refer to the decay of "whom." About 50 years ago Lord Dunsany wrote a brilliant article, "England Language Difficulties!" in which he deplored some pernicious practices that were eroding the English language; he particularly decried the decay of the adjective, which was being replaced by nouns—hence his title. Despite his jeremiad the decline continued. A few years ago we saw how Madison Avenue destroyed the distinction between "like" and "as" in the TV commercial which brayed, "_____ tastes good like a cigarette should." And now we have the decay of "whom." This corruption goes far beyond the loss of a word. Let me cite but one disaster that would follow on the loss of "whom." What will happen to those two classic gems of limerology when "whom" is no more? There was an old man of Khartoum Who kept two black sheep in his room. "They remind me," he said, "Of two friends that are dead." But he never would tell us of whom. And the one about his female compatriot: A lesbian lass from Khartoum Took a pansy one night to her room. She put out the light, Said, "Now let's get this right— Who does it, with what, and to whom?" A well-intentioned friend, who was listening to my complaint, opined smugly that we could solve the problem by shifting the arena from Khartoum to Timbuktu . Not wishing to appear inflexible, I gave it a try. An oldster from Timbuktu In his room kept a kangaroo. "It reminds me," he said, "Of a friend that is dead." But he never would tell us of who. I can hear Lord Dunsany sniffing, "Very well, sir, but will it do?" The image of "two black sheep" connotes dark, devilish deeds and makes one shudder at the unnamed depravity of the friends. But a "kangaroo"? The worst sin it evokes is 430 I Letter to the Editor that the friend was perhaps given tojumping to conclusions. No, Lord Dunsany, it decidedly will not do! As for the lady, A dyke from Timbuktu Took a pansy one night to her loo. She put out the light, Said, "Now let's get this right— Who does it, with what, and to who?" But will this do? How many English-speaking persons outside of the British Isles know that "loo" is British slang for toilet, water closet,john, etc.? Not many. And then—in the loo?! How awkward. No, this will not do. But, worst of all, to replace fact with fiction, to aver that it happened in Timbuktu when it actually happened in Khartoum, sets a horrible example before our younger generation, who are already drowning in a sea of moral decay brought on by perversion of truth in high government circles. No, we must not let this happen. Milton said, "As good almost kill a man as kill a good book." Indeed, to kill a good book is to kill a man, but to kill a good limerick is to kill a whole regiment of men. I. N. Dubin, M.D. Department ofPathology Medical College ofPennsylvania, Philadelphia Perspectives in Biology and Medicine · Spring 1975 | 431 ...