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A PALINDROME OF PATHOLOGISTS I. N. DUBIN, M.D: Sitting through innumerable years of pathologists' meetings, I have come to feel an increasing need for a phrase that would describe a gathering of such learned physicians, in short, a noun of assemblage that would characterize a cluster of that unique breed. I thought I would surely find it in James Lipton's scholarly and witty book, An Exaltation of Larks [I]. Alas, while he mentioned nouns of assemblage for other medical specialists (a "brace of orthopedists," a "joint of osteopaths," a "rash of dermatologists," a "flutter of cardiologists," a "guess of diagnosticians ," a "pile of proctologists," a "corps of anatomists," and a "smear of gynecologists"), no mention is made of pathologists. The pathologist still remains the original "invisible man," the doctor behind the doctor, the unseen guide to the hewers of limbs and the drawers of blood. No better candidate appearing on the scene, it is left to me, unworthy as I am, to devise a phrase that would pay tribute to a gathering of my pathological brethren. Certain designations immediately suggested themselves but had to be rejected out of hand. "A gathering of eagles" seemed dulce et decorum but (1) had already been used as the title of a third-rate movie, (2) might be considered flighty or high flown, and (3) might be confused by some ignoramus with "a gathering of vultures." A "pride of pathologists," while immensely fitting and alliterative to boot, was already preempted by the lions. "A pod of pathologists" was unsuitable because the seals had already beaten us to it, and, further, pathologists are clearly not as alike as peas in a pod, being painfully unique, each an anomaly. No, I had to invent a new phrase. Eureka! "A tissue of pathologists"! But association of ideas immediately suggests "a tissue of lies"; this will not do, since we already have enough trouble maintaining credibility in our pathology reports. How about "a web of pathologists"? Again, association leads us to "a web ofintrigue"; enough said. "A rigor" is rather stiff and might give one the ?Professor of pathology, Medical College of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19129. 78 ¡ /. ?', Dubin · Palindrome of Pathologists shudders. "A fixation" suggests an unhealthy mental preoccupation. "A pickle" hints at a quandary, a state no pathologist ever admits to. There was nothing left to do but go on sabbatical leave and immerse myself in deep study. I read the ancient writings in the original Egyptian , Sumerian, Hebrew, Sanskrit, and Chinese languages, although I confess to some difficulty with the as yet undecoded Quipu of the ancient Incas. I even studied spiritualism with the ghosts of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Sherlock Homes, to prepare myself for consultation with the spirits of such eminent pathologists as Morgagni, Bonet, Baillie, Virchow, and Rokitansky. All to no avail. Finally, literally at the end of my rope after spending a month meditating atop a pillar in the Himalayas, the Truth came in a flash of lightning, as it struck me lowering the bucket. But of course! No wonder I could not settle on a single phrase! Pathologists are variously perspicacious and stupid; lovable and cantankerous; in expression, lumbering and graceful; in diagnosis, accurate and woefully wrong; and not only variously (that is, at different times), but, to the glory ofour specialty, we are unique among physicians in being all of these things simultaneously. So I set about to devise not a single phrase but a whole assembly of nouns of assemblage from which a person seeking le motjuste could select that phrase which would suit either the truth of the occasion or his mood. While there is little room here for personal pride and prejudice, I must confess I tend to favor "a palindrome of pathologists," not only because it is alliterative and skips trippingly on the tongue but also on the grounds that most pathology reports make as much sense when read backward as forward. But—down, Vanity! Let us proceed to the list. Some designations are so obvious they require no comment. Others need a whiff of grapeshot to clear the air. For the academic types, the professors ofpathology, what better than "a profundity ofpathologists...

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