Rattle-Sword

RATTLE-SWORD1 JAMES H. FOSTER* It would be the height of folly, indeed, to presume that Shakespeare's words could be improved upon. What is attempted in this section, however, is a rewording of a few of Shakespeare's more famous non-medical quotations to give them a medical flavor and thereby to comment upon some of our current medical practices and attitudes. Perchance these commentaries will elicit the sympathy of some who labor today in the vineyard of medicine. Those who know Shakespeare well will probably understand and appreciate more. For others who were once required to reluctantly memorize certain passages, anamnestic recall may allow a belated appreciation. The citations will allow readers to find their way back to the unsullied originals. ANEMIA The better part of pallor is depletion. MANAG'D CARE {I Henry IV, V.iv.120) Let me not to the venture of entrepreneurs Admit impediment. But Medicine gives up its soul When, neglecting values that surely must endure, It bends toward turning profit as its goal. O, no! True medicine's an ever-fixed friend Who welcomes change but not for change's sake, Who labors long toward suffering's end 'Unable to "shake a spear" as well as the master poet, the author has chosen to "rattle a sword." *Department of Surgery, University of Connecticut Health Center. Correspondence: 435 Waterville Road, Avon, CT 06001.© 1997 by The University of Chicago. All rights reserved. 0031-5982 /97 / 4101-1043$01 .00 58 James H. Foster ¦ Rattle-Sword But doubts that manag'd care will difference make. Medicine's not time's fool though death and life Within his binding sickle's compass come. Medicine alters not with money'd strife But cares and serves even to the edge of doom. If this be error, by future assur'd, I never doctor'd, nor patient ever cur'd. (Sonnet 116) MODERN DIAGNOSTICS Once more into the lab, dear friends, once more Or stuff our practice up with foul boredom. In health there's nothing so becomes a man As moderation and a stern frugality. But when the blast of illness blows in our ears, Then imitate the action of a tiger; Burn up those roentgens, siphon off the blood Confirm again the obvious with many-flavour'd scans That lend the eye a new and varied aspect. And if our far-flung net yields unsuspected lore, Praise God, we can indulge our habit even more. On, on, you noble doctors, Lift up that pen and make your fathers proud That they have sire'd good yoemen of such mettle. Mind not the cost, for someone else will pay. Let M.R.I, and CAT and PET bring lustre to your eyes And monies to our industry. There's none so dull that can't conjure another test To satisfy our need for confirmation or to protect us From lawyer's pounce with plaintiff expert. Follow your spirit, and advance your name. Cry, God, for marketing, technology and fame! (Henry V, UlAA) OLFACTION What's in a name? That which we call A nose by any other name would smell as well. (Romeo andJuliet, ILi.85) Perspectives in Biology and Medicine, 41, 1 ¦ Autumn 1997 | 59 MEDIA MEDICINE Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow Will bring fresh news of yet another Epoch-shaping, headline-breaking, career-making Breakthrough in the search to conquer death. But then, as time creeps on at petty pace, The bubble bursts. Out, out, brief fad, As empty grail more data prove thou art, That struts and frets his hour on all the talk-shows, And then is heard no more; it is a tale Told by the media, full of sound and bombast, Signifying nothing. (Macbeth, V.v.19) A MEDICAL CAREER All of Medicine's a stage And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one physician in his time plays many parts, His act being seven stages. As, first in college Cribbing and competing his way to acceptance. And then the fawning medical student—all For knowledge but really all for marks; Whose every act bespeaks a fear yet a desire For the...