Women, Words, and Men: Excerpts from the Diary of Mary Guion

Women, Words, and Men: Excerpts from the Diary of Mary Guion* Martha Tomhave Blauvelt In recent years, scholars of both women's history and literature have turned to the diary as a major source. PubUcation of fuU-length journals such as Martha Farnsworth's, 1882-1922, and EmUy Hawley Gillespie's mid- and late-nineteenth century diaries have aUowed us to hear women's personal stories in their own voices. At the same time, they have provided detaüed, day-by-day evidence of how women negotiated their way in a patriarchal sodety. The as yet unpublished 1800-07 courtship diary of Mary Guion (1782-1871) takes us into the everyday world of a young New York State woman living near New York City, much earlier in the nineteenth century.1 Most significantly, it shows a woman using literature—the pubtic Uterature she read and the private Uterature she wrote—to empower herself in her relationships with men. During the years of her courtship, from the ages of 17 to 25, Mary Guion's pubtic voice gained strength through the private medium of her words. Like many middle-class women of the early republic, Mary Guion was an avid reader. She regularly borrowed novels from the lending libraries of North Castle, the smaU town in Westchester County, New York, where she Uved. She also frequently read the essays on marriage so common to magazines and newspapers then. From these essays she learned that the ideal relationship between men and women was friendship: a rational yet affectionate union based on mutuatity and trust. But novels taught her that male/female relationships were antagonistic: men seduced and betrayed women. Glamorous as fictional men were, they were not to be trusted. These conflicting literary images colored Guion's own relationships. This is most clear in her dealings with Jonathan Jasup. A middle-aged widower and captain whom Guion met at a Stamford, Connecticut, wedding in 1804, Jasup resembled men in novels, who were typicaUy older than the heroine, wealthy, sexuaUy aggressive, and often had some connection to the military or nobtiity. Much Uke fictional heroines, Guion was clearly attraded to this dashing figure who outclassed her vülage suitors. She assuaged her fear of his sexual advances by focusing on his age and offers of friendship, but she did not forgd the lessons of sentimental novels. Making inquiries into Captain Jasup's charader, she learned the fuU extent of his depravity and fled "the snare" he spread for her (p. 189). Presumably, © 1990 Journal of Women's History, Vol. 2 No. 2 (Fall)__________________ * Permission to quote courtesy of the New-York Historical Society. I would Uke to thank the 1989 NHPRC Institute for the Editing of Historical Documents, especially John Kaminski, for advice on editorial policy. 178 Journal of Women's History Fall her farmliarity with novels warned Guion away from her seducer, and in her "book" women escape their Uterary fate of sexual betrayal. If the words of pubUc literature helped to frame Guion's reactions to men, the very practice of setting down words in her diary empowered her to stand up to them. She used her diary to sort out her reactions to males such as Jasup and to puzzle over the appropriate response. FiUed with "he saids" and "I saids," it rehearsed and judged her conversations. In its pages "reason" had an opportunity to answer "fancy" and prevent impulsive behavior. There she recorded the lesson she learned from Jasup—"I must learn to susped aU"—a lesson that would guide her in her cautious romance with Samuel Brown, a less dashing but trustworthy man she would finally marry in 1807. As she accurately observed, her diary placed her thoughts "in so external a point of view" that she could study them "at leisure" (p. 175). The following excerpts show Mary Guion flirting with Jasup, studying him, and ultimately asserting control over her life. September 30,1804. [After the wedding] I then with some company went in the other room in the room was a Gentleman I hand never seen befor but he seamed to wish to be very famiUar took his seat next me & even ventured to put his...