Excerpt from Nevermind!: A Revue in One Act

Characters

THE FEMINIST
OSCAR

THE FEMINIST (looking for work as a seamstress) Yeah, I can understand your surprise, but what do you expect? The women have taken all our jobs; ya gotta make a living, and I thought, hey, the best thing we guys can do is take the women's jobs! It's not my fault if I'm in deep shit! I had a terrific job. Everything's crashed since the war. I've got to refashion myself completely!

He sings the Sorentina.

A prominent change, never seen before
Is about, all around, since we went to war
Not a dame's to be seen in her parlor room
They're around and about!
Simply put: THEY'RE OUT!
In cafés and in trams, even cops, God damn!
And the work it gets done with such smiles and such grace,
That when peace comes you bet, no one'll dare to replace them.
And so since at home they now carry the brunt
Only way to say HEY! we are back, step aside,
IS TO SEND THEM TO THE FRONT!

OSCAR I've got just the job you need. I know a woman who's working in a gunpowder factory . . .

THE FEMINIST A great choice!

OSCAR A merchant of superfluous things!

THE FEMINIST I get it: eyeshadow!

OSCAR And she's really great at it! Only she hasn't got time to clean her house . . . or do her hair . . .

THE FEMINIST That's real tough!

OSCAR You can do it while she's at the factory.

THE FEMINIST I get it: we split up the tasks. What's the pay?

OSCAR A smile a day, and board.

THE FEMINIST If she's young, I'll ask for a glass of cold water in addition!

OSCAR Why not a roof over your head?

THE FEMINIST Hey! I accept wholeheartedly!
Bye-bye this life . . . hello the next!
I'll get a little job
with a lady whom I'll find.
I'll keep house for this madame,
And perhaps she'll pay in kind!
Me scared, shit!
Not a bit!
Just afraid to lose my mind!

Oh, I forgot to get her address from you. Where does she live?

OSCAR She's got her own place!

THE FEMINIST I should have known!

End of Excerpt.

Nevermind! premiered at Auxiliary Hospital Number 201 on July 26, 1916.

English translation copyright © 2000 by Annabelle Winograd. All rights reserved. No part of this play may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, and information storage and retrieval systems, without permission from the author.

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that, being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including the Dominion of Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union, this play is subject to royalty. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio and television broadcasting, and translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. Permission for production, etc., in English should be obtained from Annabelle Winograd, Drama Department, Dartmouth College, 6204 Hopkins Center, Hanover, NH 03755. Nevermind! was originally published in Marseille by Imprimarie du Petit Marseille, n.d.

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