Love and Marriage in Early African America (review)

Love and Marriage in Early African America, edited by Frances Smith Foster, is one of those rare books that is a pleasure both for general interest readers as well as for the most dedicated scholars of nineteenth-and early twentieth-century African American literature.

Twenty years in the making, uncovering an extraordinary range of primary writings—sermons, poems, stories, letters, lectures, memoirs, autobiography, folk sayings, and rhymes—Foster's project refutes stereotypical notions that slavery destroyed black families and created dysfunctional emotional, sexual, and gender power relationships among black men and women. Such evidence is important to our historical re-imagining of black life; but, surprisingly, the material resounds with contemporary relevance. In particular, emotions shine—ecstasy, disappointment, desire, self-doubt, fidelity, and joy. Such feelings are normally engaged during the journey from courtship, to love, then marriage. But the inherent power in these anthology selections make readers feel as if they are looking into a mirror that passionately reveals their inner selves or else eavesdropping on stories about their family or their friend's love life.

Foster clearly revels in the material. Her Introduction, subtitled "By Way of an Open Letter to My Sister," is a jubilant "thank you" to her sister, Cle, for aiding in the archival research … a sharing of discoveries, "Cle, Phyllis Wheatley was a flirt!" as well as a recognition that this "old material linked [her] life directly to … ancestors." Made curious about her own family and history, Foster couldn't help but solicit courtship stories from her mother, noting that what her mother said (as well as didn't say) reflected attitudes and morals rooted in a centuries-old tradition of black heterosexual unions.

For scholars, Love and Marriage in Early African America, proves without question that there was a vibrant print culture for African Americans as early as the eighteenth century. The Afro-Protestant Church, in its myriad forms, was a literary engine creating and buying newspapers, publishing sermons, letters, poems and encouraging consortiums of African Americans in cities and across states to write, edit, and produce religious as well as secular news and literature. The Christian Recorder of Philadelphia remains one of the oldest African American newspapers in the world. In 1864, in a column entitled "The Young Ladies of To-Day," the unnamed writer laments that all modern women have become fashionable and "delicate," and, therefore, advises suitors: "Never marry the girl who sits in the parlor while her mother stands in the kitchen. It won't pay." While the gender roles are conservative and based in economic exchange, the paper, nonetheless, promoted respect as a key ingredient for a happy union. While a man should be wary of marrying a fashionable girl, women, in 1861, were given ten tips for how "To Avoid a Bad Husband." Tip #6 is "Never marry a man who treats his mother or sister unkindly or indifferently." Tip #10 implores "… never marry a man who is addicted to … spirits. Depend upon it, you are better off alone than you would be tied to a man whose breath is polluted, and whose vitals are being gnawed out by alcohol." Even at a time when to be unmarried, an "old maid" meant disgrace, the African American community drew the line at unions that had the potential to foster abuse and with men who lacked integrity, self-discipline, and kindness. In 1873, The Christian Recorder published the piece, "Aunt Jennie The Old Maid." The unknown author recreates Clara, a young girl, telling her friend, Lizzie, about her "wonderful aunt." Unmarried, the aunt "took an active part in attending to the numerous children with which her sister had been blessed." Clara clearly adores her Aunt Jennie, and recounts how active she is in teaching, guiding, and caring for the children. She ends by saying, "Mamma calls her an old maid; and I believe she is, for she takes us out so. Indeed, Lizzie I wish...