The Inversion of Conversion: Rousseau's Rewriting of Augustinian Autobiography

TheInversionofConversion: Rousseau'sRewritingof AugustinianAutobiography PATRICK RILEY "...whenweleamtoknowGodwebecomenewmenintheimageofour creator" —SaintAugustine,Confessions13:22 "Al'instantdecettelecturejevisunautreuniversetjedevinsunautre homme" —Jean-JacquesRousseau,ConfessionsVIII Whatdoesitmeantoconvert?Whatarethestakesofthisinterruptionof subjectivityforautobiography?Thesequestionsareposedforcefully bytwocrucialfiguresinthehistoryofthegenre,SaintAugustineandJean- JacquesRousseau.ReligiousconversionisthedefiningeventinAugustine's Confessions:thesinner'ssubmissiontoGodistheexperiencewhichboth legitimatesthewritingofanautobiographyandfunctionsasitscentraldrama. ButwithAugustineconversionleadstothenegationoftheautobiographical enterprise:oncehediscoversthatthevalueoftheselfliescompletelyinGod, Augustineabandonspersonalnarrativeinfavorofareflectiononthedivine. Somefourteencenturieslater,RousseauresuscitatesAugustine'stitleand revisitstheproblemofconversion.Thatsubjectiveviolence,however,isnow channeledtowardsaperpetualre-writingoftheself.Autobiographyisthe 229 230 / RILEY inevitableoutcomeofthewayinwhichRousseauexperiencesconversion: asatearinthefabricoflifethatonlywritingcanmend.Iwillconsiderhow Rousseau,whileunquestionablyrecallingthestructureaswellastherheto- ricofAugustine'sautobiography,redefinestheformandmeaningofconver- sion.1Insuggestingwhatmodem,secularconversionmightbe,Rousseaualsodefinesmodem,secularautobiographyasbotharepriseandarejection oftheAugustinianconfessionaltradition. Thisstudyisinthreeparts.Thefirstbrieflysuggeststhecriticalstakesfor autobiographyofexaminingconversion.Invariably,conversionposesques- tionsabouttheshapeofanindividuallifeandaboutthegenrethroughwhich thatlifeisrepresented.Arelativelyschematicoverviewoftheparadoxical functioningofconversioninAugustinefollows,underscoringthesalientfeaturesofthereligiousconversionarymodelthatwilldevolveonRousseau . Withthesestakesandthismodelposited,wecantumtoRousseau'ssecular recastingofconversion,itsreorientationawayfromGodandtowardaself sodividedbyexperiencethatitcanultimatelysubsistonlyasaseriesof autobiographicalrepresentations. Conversion,simplydefinedasradicalsubjectivechange,2bothconfirms anddisruptstwoofthemostdeeplyentrenchedpremisesaboutautobiogra-phy:totalityandunity.Thepracticeandcriticalaccountofpost-Rousseau autobiographysuggestthatautobiographyshouldpossesstheminimalchar- acteristicsoftherealistnovel(leavingasidethequestionoffiction):3abe- ginningandanend,andanautonomousnarrativevoice,asifitwerepossible towriteone'sstoryfromapositionofretrospectivenarrativeauthoritybe- yondthelifedescribed.Autobiography'sunrealizablefantasyistowritea summaoftheself,asiftheauthorwerealreadydead.Hence,forexample, theimaginedperspectiveofthecasketsuggestedbydietitleofChateaubriand's Mémoiresd'outre-tombe;henceRousseau'srepeatedinsistenceintheCon- fessionsthatheistellingeverythingthatitispossibletotell;4andhence Montaigne'sexpressionintheEssaisofhisdesiretoportrayhimself"tout entier,ettoutnud."5Tothiswemayaddtheomnipresentinclusioninautobi- ographiesofbirthnarrativesandfamilygenealogieswhich,whiletheyobvi- ouslyprecedetheautobiographer'sself-consciousness,reinforcetheillusion ofagloballife-narrative.AsChateaubriandputsitinanimpossiblesen- tence,"monberceauadematombe,matombeademonberceau."6The beautybehindthesuspiciouschiasmusofChateaubriand'spronouncementis thatitsuggestsboththatthesenseofalifecanbeassuredbywitnessingits beginninganditsendandthatthereisessentiallynodifferencebetweenthe two. Theforemosttheoristofautobiography,PhilippeLejeune,proposedadefinitioninhis1975LePacteautobiographique ,whichhasbecomenormative TheInversionofConversion/231 fornumeroussubsequentstudiesofthegenre.AnautobiographyforLejeune isa"retrospectiveprosenarrativewrittenbyarealpersonconcerninghis ownexistence,wherethefocusishisindividuallife,inparticularthestoryof hispersonality."7Hisdefinitionsupposesthattheautobiographerasnarrator andasprotagonistaresufficientlysimilartoconstitutetwoinstancesofthe samepersonality.8Conversion,obviously,problematizessuchareadingof character.9 Tyingthesetwothreadstogether,desirefortotalityandthedemandthat autobiographybearetrospectivenarrativeofarecognizablyconsistentself, wearriveatadominantgenericmodelbywhichtheorthodoxyofself-repre-sentationaltextscanbegauged.Canonicalmodernautobiographycharacter- izesitself—andisbyandlargecriticallyevaluated—asthepursuitofato- talizingnarrativeoftheselfthattakesthebroadestpossiblemeasureofthe author'ssubjectiveexperience.Theworkthatrefuses,failstorealize,or ironizesaboutthispursuitfallsregularlyintothegenre'sconsiderablemar- gins.10WhatIhopetodemonstratehere,however,isthatevenanundeniably canonicalworksuchasRousseau'sConfessionstoacertainextentunder- minestheverycriteriaofcompletenessandsubjectiveconsistencyonwhich itscanonicityisostensiblybased.Nodoubtthisindeterminacy,orratherthis determinationoftheConfessionsasbothcanonicalandpotentiallysubver- sive,residesinadoublegamewherebyRousseauconstantlyclaimsunityof character,evenashesimultaneouslylodgesthecounter-claimthathislifeis incessantlyoverturnedthroughradicalchange.Later,Iwilltrytoaccountfor Rousseau'sconflictingassessmentsofhisownsubjectivelifeandtheirrela- tiontohisthreemajorautobiographicalworks." Ofcourseeveryautobiographerrecognizesthefantasyofunityandtotal- ityasfantasy:anautobiographyalwayscomestooearlyandisalwaysin somesensemerelypartial.Andyet,whenthetoposofconversionisplaced atthework'scenter,itbecomespossibletowriteconvincinglyaboutthe cradleandthegraveChateaubriandspeaksofinthesentencequotedabove. Withitslogicofdeathandrebirth,conversionpermitsthenarrationofa completehistorybecauseitinauguratesaradicallynewsubjectivehistory thatclosesapreviousone:thisisitsverydefinition.Hereandnow,conver- sionoffersameansofcapturingatotalizedself-imagewhilerecountinga life-narrative.Atthesametime,theconvertrisksbecomingarepresenta- tionalschizophrenic.l2Theconversionscenedefines,inaconcentrated,pow- erfulexperience,everythingthatIbelievemyselftobe,yetatthesametime demandsitswholesaledenial.Thisistheparadoxofconversionthatcon- cernsushere:byundergoingaconversionexperience,Ilivethroughadeathoftheselfwhichthenallowsmetoapprehendmyselfasanintegraltotality, butatthecostthatIamnolonger"myself."13 232 / RILEY TherhetoricofconversionplaysuponwhatPauldeManarguesis autobiography'scontrollingmetaphor.In"AutobiographyasDe-Facement," hewrites:"Thedominantfigureoftheepitaphicorautobiographicaldis- courseis...theprosopopeia,thefictionofthevoice-from-beyond-the- grave."14Buttheclosureproducedbythesealedcasketisalsotheconvert's overture:asoneversionoftheselfisburied,anotherisbomandbeginsto speak.Followingtheprosopopeiathatisthevoiceofthenow-vanished preconvert,thevoicekeptaliveonlylongenoughtonarrateitsdislocation, therepersistsalanguagebeyondtheconvert'sepitaph,referringtoanewlife butnottoanewname:conversioncreatestheliteraryeffectofhavingsur- vivedoneself. This,atleast,isthescenarioreligiousconversionestablishes.Itsprivi- legedarchetypeinself-representationaldiscourseisAugustine'sConfessions, bothbecausethistextservesasanalmostobsessionalmodelinthehistoryof thegenreandbecauseitpositsthesignificanceofconversionforautobiogra- phyinaparticularlysuggestiveandrigorouslylogicalway.Oftheresponses totheAugustinianmodelofconversionintheWesternautobiographicaltra- dition,Rousseau'sisthemostintriguingandhasthefurthest-reachingconse- quencesforthedevelopmentofthegenre.1S TheresonancesbetweenAugustine'sandRousseau'sConfessionsarenot infrequentlyevokedinstudiesofRousseau,butonlyrarelyhavetheybecomethesubjectofanextendedcriticalreflection ,despitethepowerfulway inwhichthebishopofHippo'sconfessionalworkclearlystandsasboth modelandcounter-modelforRousseau'sautobiography.Theonlyexisting book-lengthstudyexaminingthetwoConfessionsisAnnHartle'sTheMod- ernSelfinRousseau'sConfessions:AReplytoSaintAugustine,inwhich shearguesthatRousseau,whileaimingsquarelyatAugustinebothonthe levelofstructureandofanideologyofsubjectivity,createsaradicallydif- ferent,modemversionoftheself:"thesuccessfulreplacementofmedieval self-consciousnessbytheconsciousnessofthemodemselfiswhatmakesit necessarytoconvincecontemporaryreadersthatRousseauisrespondingto Augustine"(10).16MyinquiryinnowaycontestsHartle'sassertionsabout thetypeofsubjectiveconfigurationspresentinthetwoConfessions.How- ever,herargumentrestsondemonstratingthatRousseau'sConfessions"is notessentiallyautobiography"(9;originalemphasis).Rather,inherview, theinaugurationofmodemselfhoodispredicateduponRousseau'sconstruc- tionofaquasi-fictive,universalizing"portrait"ofmanaccordingtonature (9-37).WhilethereisnoquestionthatRousseauascribesaparadigmatic valuetohisself-image,"IwillarguethatwhereasAugustine'sConfessions ultimatelydemandtheforeclosureofautobiography,Rousseau'sConfessions, andhissubsequentDialoguesandRêveries,suggesttimeandagainthat TheInversionofConversion/233 onlyautobiographyiscapableofsalvagingtheRousseaueanidealofthe autonomousself.AndwhileHartlede-emphasizestheroleofconversioninAugustineandRousseau,limitingherdiscussiontoanessentiallyformal comparisonoftheconversionscenesinBookVIIIofbothConfessions,con- versionliesatthecenterofmyargument:itfunctionsverypreciselyasthat whichendsautobiographyinAugustineandasthatwhichmakesautobiog- raphysonecessaryforRousseau. TheConversionScenarioinAugustinesConfessions Augustine'sConfessionsarestructuredaroundtwoconfessionalforms thatwerealreadywellestablishedatthetimeofthetext'sproduction: confessiopeccati,orconfessionofsins,andconfessiolaudis,orpraiseof God.I8Theconstantinterpénétrationofmesetwoformsconstitutesthework's centraltension,betweenadiscourseoftheselfandadiscourseof,andto- ward,God.Thebookissplitroughlyinhalf,withthefirstpartdetailing Augustine'slifeasasinnerandhisquestforcertitude,whilethesecondisa metaphysicaltreatiseonmemory,temporality,language,andBiblicalexegesis .Thefulcrumuponwhichthedivisionisbalancedisthesinner'sconver- siontoChristianityinBookVIII.AfteraninterludeinwhichAugustinere- countshisearlyintegrationintoaChristiancommunityandthedeathofhis mother,thetextceasespurelyandsimplytobeanautobiography.19Theirre- ducibilityofthehistoricalsubject,whoseuniqueexperiencesarecoagulated innarrative,giveswaytothediscourseoftheuniversalChristiansubject, stillemanating,ofcourse,fromAugustine'sconsciousness,butnolongeras themarkofitssubjectivesingularity. ThepreconversionalbooksrelateAugustine'sfounderinginworldliness.Inadesolatingattempttoarriveatthesimplesttruthabouttheworld,he passesthroughManicheanmaterialism,aCiceronianexhortationtophilosophy ,Academicskepticism,andNeoplatonism,beforefinallyacceptingChrist inthefamousconversionscene.20Thepreconversionalselfisinchoateand incomplete.Itconstantlyseeksself-definitioninrelationtootiiemess,through mimeticdesire.Augustine,inepisodeuponepisode,recountshowhispursuit ofcertitudecentersaroundtheimitationofexemplaryfigures,firstinthe domainofrhetoric,theninphilosophy,andfinallyinChristianhistory. Thedramaofconversion,however,revealsthetruthoftheselfinasud- denillumination.Theexemplaryfiguresthatfueledtheconversionimmedi- atelylosetheirsignificance.21OnceitisrecognizedthatGodistheultimate telosofthehumansoul,itbecomesclearthatnoworldlymodelsofimitation remaintobeemulated.Inthissense,conversionreturnstheselftoitself,so thatitfinallybecomespossibletoconsiderselfhoodasanautonomouscat- 234 / RILEY egory.Indeed,itisonlyaftertheconversionscenethatAugustineposesthe autobiographicalquestionparexcellenceforthefirsttime:"WhoamI?"22 Conversionprovidestheanswertothatquestion,butitssolutiongener- atesanimmediateparadox.Augustinelearns"whoheis"bygraspingthat hisentirebeingderivesfromGod,andthathissoulwillonlyachievepleni- tudeandclaritywhenitisreunitedwithitsdivinesourceuponthedeathof thebody.Conversionalsoreveals"whohewas,"whichturnsoutretrospec- tivelytobenearlynothing:thepreconversionalself,totheextentthatitis distancedfromGod,doesnotpossessgenuinebeing.23Thesinnerthatthe firstbooksoftheConfessionsdescribeisinasenseafiction,afalsesubject. Theselfrebornthroughconversion,however,canonlybecomeintelligiblein directproportiontotheconvert'scapacitytounderstandGod,whichisinevi- tablylimited:theconvertmustbe"contenttoknowwithoutknowing,or shouldIsay,tobeignorantandyettoknow?"(12:5,283).Thusthelatter booksareanattempttoshedasmuchlightaspossibleonthenatureofterrestrialbeingbycontemplatingtheattributesofitsdivineoriginanddestina - tion.Self-knowledgebecomestheknowledgethattheselfisnotfullyknow-able,andself-representationintheConfessionsisabruptlyterminated. Augustine'stheoreticalchapters(BooksX-XIII)constructanimageofa deusabsconditus,thehiddenGodthatwillhauntthePort-RoyalJansenists oftheFrenchseventeenthcentury.Nonetheless,thesechaptersmakeitplain thatthevalueoftheredeemedsoulisderivedentirelyfromitsunintelligible source,andthattheentirethrustoftheconvert'sactivitiesisdirectedtoward becomingworthyofjoiningthisshadowybeing,ofbecomingsomethingother thanahumanbeing.Theself'sideal,inthiscontext,isitsowndemiseas self.ItisfragmentarybecauseitisstillseparatedfromGodevenasconversionpromisesarecuperationoffullnessandintegrity .AUsubjects—ofwhich Augustineisnowonlyarepresentative—arefinallyreducedtoakindof nullitybeforethesublimityofthedivine.Theindividuationofasinnerinthe preconversionalbooksyieldstoadiscourseopeningontotheperfectgratuity ofanypossiblegestureofindividuation.TheConfessionsmustberead,there- fore,asanautobiographythatelidesitsownautobiographicalcontentin ordertodemonstratethefutilityofallautobiographicalprojects.Confessio peccati,thelanguageofthefall,thespaceaccordedtotheChristianfortalk- ingabouttheself,isprogressivelysubsumedbytheinfinitepossibilitiesof confessiolaudis,oftalkingaboutaGodwhoisallthemorediscursively productiveforbeingultimatelyunknowable. IfAugustinefinallyinsiststhatautobiographymustfallsilentwhenGod entersthesoul,andifthehistoricalselfdisappearsinanticipationofitsin- scriptioninadivine,eternaltemporalityexistingbeyondhistory,wenone- thelesshavetoaccountforthefactthatthetextremainsasahumanartifact, TheInversionofConversion/235 astheself'sdurabletracemarkingthepathtoitsownextinctionashistorical subject.Thisremainder,ostensibly,wouldpointtotheConfessions'sdidac-ticfunction.ThepersistenceofAugustine'sconfessionasadocumentcircu- latingintheworld,beyondtheself'sdisappearanceasrepresentationalob- ject,wouldserveasamimeticexemplumforotherprospectiveconverts(just asAugustine'sownconversionissparkedbyaseriesofexemplaryChristian figures).Heiswellawareofthesuperfluityofaconfessionaddressedsolely toGod,sinceGodknowseverythoughtintheconvert'smindbeforeiteven occurs(2:3;5:1;and10:2-5).However,heseemsgenuinelyhesitantto offerhisownlifeasamodel:attimesheassertshisintentiontoinstillthe loveofGodinothers(8:4;and11:1),buthealsoclaimsonseveralocca- sionsthatonlythosewhoalreadyhaveChristiancharityintheirheartswill appreciatehiswords(1:6;10:3-4;and10:33). Perhapsthisisbecausethecrucialstepofconversion,thecompletesub- missiontoaBigOtherofwhosenaturethesinnerisonlydimlyaware,in- volvesaleapintoaspaceinwhichexemplarityisimpossible:thesinner cannotimitateGodbutsimplydesireHim;onlythosewhoalreadyunder- standthiswillunderstandtheConfessions.Ifthisisthecase,thenthetext functionsnotasamodelfortheconversionofsinnersbutasanedifying discourseinwhichthealreadyconvertedseetheirownfaithmirrored,ina doublinganalogoustothesuperfluityofconfessingtoaGodwhohasalways alreadyknownwhattheconvert'sconfessionwouldcontain.Ineitherevent, Augustineperceivesanacutetensionintherelationshipbetweenthehistori- calnarrativeofhislifeasthememorialofadeadsubjectandhisanticipation ofaunionwithGod.Inotherwords,heidentifiesapolarityinhisconfession betweenpureretrospectandpureprospect.Autobiographyrecountsaself thatmustrenounceitstextualfuturewhenitglimpsesapotentialreturnto theeternalpresentoftheWord.ThedefiningcharacteristicofAugustine'sbookbecomestherepresentationofthevanishedpastofasubjectthatnever fullyexisted,anditemanatesfromanull-pointinwhichthewritingsubject existsonlyasimmanenttoafullnessofbeingthathasyettobeconferred: Iamdividedbetweentimegonebyandtimeyettocome,anditscourseis amysterytome.Mythoughts,theintimatelifeofmysoul,aretornthis wayandthatinthehavocofchange.AndsoitwillbeuntilIampurified andmeltedbythefireofyourloveandfusedintoonewithyou.(11:29,279) Themomentofconversionisthelastmomentinwhichitispossibletolivein thepresent:onceconversion'sworkiscompleted,itisonlypossibletolook backwardthroughconfessiopeccatiorforwardthroughconfessiolaudis;to lookdirectlyinwardistodiscoverasoulthatispureevanescence.Self- 236 / RILEY presence,capturedasintelligibletotalityinthetext,ispreciselywhatAu- gustinianconfessioncanneverachieveintheprecariousinterplaybetween thetimeoflapsedhistoricalexperienceandtheeternitythatliessomewhere beyondthetimeofwriting.Augustinewritesanautobiographywhosemost profoundintentionistofunctionasanindexofadestinationthatwillrender bothwritingandretrospectionmeaningless.Thediscoveryofthetruthofa selfthathastodieinordertobegraspedisalsothepromiseofaneternallife intheradicalbeyondofanypossibletextwrittenbyahumanhand. Rousseau'sInversionofConversion RousseauappropriatesmanyofthetopoiofAugustinianconfessionaldis- coursebutshiftstheirfunctionradically.Inagestureofepistemologicallev- eling,heemploysthepointedrhetoricofdeathandrebirthwewitnessin Augustine,butdemolishesthemetaphysicalbasesfromwhichAugustinian- ismsprings.Rousseaueanconversionbecomesaneconomyinwhichtheplace ofthedialecticbetweenGodandthesubjectinAugustineisoccupiedbythe equallyproblematicrelationshipbetweentheselfanditsrepresentationin theworld.TheselfthatconversionconstructsinRousseauisnotanimma- nentsubjectglimpsingitsownfutureplenitudeinthelightofitsdestination, butaselfledinitsencounterswiththeworldincreasinglyfurtherafieldfrom aclaimedoriginary,"natural"integrity.Augustinianconversionisafortu- natedeathpromisinggreaterlife;Rousseaueanconversionbecomesare- peatablechainofdeathswhichtheselfalwayssomehowsurvives,butfrom whichitemergesinanincreasinglydisfiguredguise.24...